Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Oy Vey.... Still...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.. (but please, don't do an early school release or cancel after school programs just yet....)
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Dang.. work project did NOT get completed last nite.. I gotta go back in.. Oh well....$$ in the bank..
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Today everything is just f$#king HARD!!!!!! Swimming against friggin grade 10 (if there is a grade 10) rapids.. I need sleep, seriously....
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Rapidly approaching 'curl up in fetal position, rock back and forth and suck my thumb'...

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Oy Vey.. Again....

Woohee!! Worked until midnite last nite. Started again at 3 am, worked until 5 am. Now working on supplements, breakfasts, lunches etc for the boys. Once P is on the bus around 8.15 am, I'll be back on the work stuff. Yeah, I'll be *punchy* by about 9 pm tonite. 11.5 h away from deadline....
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ROFL.. P can spell alright.. "Mom, if you take the word Buckaroo, and you replace the B with an F you get.......". Yes, I was dying laughing inside, but of course I had to chastise P on using *that word*...
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7.5 h away from deadline.. a super quick shower and then off to my client's for *all hands on deck for the final publishing push*
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A little over 4 h away from deadline.. "Oops, we forgot to write this particular section. You think you can take care of that?".. WAAAAAAAH!! Okay, sure, let me get right on it..
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Getting too f#$king old for pulling multiple all nighters/dayers in a row... it's bloody pathetic.....
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Monday, December 07, 2009

Oy Vey...

Boys & I are doing good. LOOOOONG day ahead for me (so much paying work to get caught up on... well, $$ in the bank, eh?)

Wondering if anybody ever attempted plasmapheresis to switch out blood plasma with a straight caffeine solution. Am sure gonna need it to keep going today (caffeine & adrenaline & sheer pig headed stubborness is what is keeping me going at this piont.. ain't nothing else left.. ah well, this work project should come to an end sometime this week, then I can take maybe a half day to *go down in flames*..)
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CRAZY work day.. and still at it... will be another all niter me thinks. Been ignoring my poor boys all afternoon.. they've done a good job at entertaining themselves.. however, involving waay more *electronics* time than I would have preferred (yup, momma guilt). But momma's gotta get this job done.. less than 24 hours... away from deadline and I am so friggin' far behind..
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20.5 h from deadline... Boys are NOT happy with me for having *ignored* them since they came home from school. They understand, but they're not liking it... If only I hadn't fallen so incredibly far behind.. (note to self: a difficult separation, two *hi need* kiddos and a very challenging work project are definitely NOT a good combination..)
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Saturday, December 05, 2009

Day 2/Round 2...

Am gonna need your positive thoughts etc today. Today is gonna be hard (it already is). Yesterday was just me and the XTB. In a one-on-one, XTB turns weepy, whiny. Today the boys are here (they will be leaving with a dear friend around 11 am for a few hour), AND XTB has recruited my neighbors to help him move sh#t.
So... now XTB feels 10 feet tall and the manipulating is in full force..

I need to slam the shields in place, and go in biotch mode But he also knows I can't say or do what needs to be said or done in front of the boys.. .
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Boys are out of the house (have been since 11.15 am), which makes things more manageable as I don't have to worry about how they are handling/perceiving things or manage any meltdowns (I already told the boys that they can fall apart and meltdown all they want later tonite...)

Just had a chat with one neighbor to address any potential awkwardness. TG the guy is a total straight shooter with a good head on his shoulders (aka he ain't stupid and can read between the lines..) - no awkwardness there at all (at least NOT from his end..)....

Moving on to the next thing..
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There is ALWAYS good stuff. My other neighbor is building an ice rink for the winter in his backyard. Now how friggin' cool is THAT?? (Yes, I'm a skatin' fool...)
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Boys are back home.. Especially Salamander is NOT handling the changes to our living spaces well.. he's raging in his room right now (he's allowed to rage there). Boys' rooms have NOT changed at all. I was adamant that NOTHING be taken or be changed in their rooms... Is gonna be a bumpy ride this afternoon/tomorrow...
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Salamander is better....not raging anymore... talking with me instead of screaming at me.... baby steps, baby steps..
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Weirdest thing.. I have 4 flameless candles that each go thru their own individual *change of color* sequence. They are NOT supposed to be synchronized. About 20 minutes ago, when I moved these into my kitchen and turned them on, the colors and color changes were COMPLETELY synchronized. For almost a full 5 minutes. Message from the Universe that balance/equilibrium is coming? I'll take it as such....
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So friggin' TIRED. Can't *crash* just yet. Need to get boys thru bedtime and then really should put in at least 3 to 4 hours of paying work. Just don't know if I can.. major headache brewing (snowing out here now). I may just crash after the boys are in bed and get up VERY early tomorrow..

Boys are supposed to be with their dad for a good part of tomorrow.. so if I can get an early start and then work while the boys are gone.. and then work more tomorrow nite after they're in bed I should be able to get 8 to 9 hours of paying work in somehow...
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Potatey simply passed out at bed time.. with narry a peep.. utterly exhausted. Which DOES mean he and I didn't get a chance to talk about today's events.. I'm a bit worried about him, I just don't get the time I need with Potatey to help him process as my focus tends to have to be on Salamander. During Salamander's meltdown this afternoon, I know Potatey had a hard time too, but his needs took a back seat to me helping Salamander calm down.

MUST. MAKE. SURE. I. TAKE. LOTS. OF. TIME. NEXT. WEEK. FOR. P (oh, if only I didn't have this work assigment looming over my head, then I'd simply shut down for a week..)

Friday, December 04, 2009

Moving Out.. (and Moving On)

First things first, many happy birthday wishes from me and my boys to my mom. Sorry that a proper celebration will have to wait a bit....

So today is the start of moving out (and moving on) - a random collection of observations...

There's a student at Salamander's school who's gonna be EXTREMELY sorry that he ever decided to stick his grubby paws in Salamander's lunch box... [I am BULLSH#T, Salamander has had his lunch taken away from him for the past 3+ weeks!!!]
This kid just f#cked with the WRONG momma bear.. Thing is, the kid's not even eating the food. He takes it, takes a bite out of things, then either throws it in the trash cuz he doesn't like it or he starts throwing pieces of food through the caf.Not cool, so NOT cool at all...
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Commencing Operating "Get the F out of my house"...strapping on the 'all business' mask..
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It is most definitely NOT I who's the *clothes horse*.. Sh#t, two extra closets already and move out has barely gotten started....
Oh. Em. Gee... not sure on whether or he wants to take some of the boys' formal pictures, but does take all the f#$king extension power cords?????

I know, I know.. priorities and all that...
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18 years (give or take, obviously not all *officially* married).. and all that's left is piles and piles and piles of f#$king debris...
You know that I don't tend to spend a lot of time looking back (yeah, at some point I'll have to do some solid thinking/dissecting on my part of this whole situation, to learn from it, and to not repeat mistakes..)...

What's done is done, I can't do anything about it. But what I ~can~ affect is the here and now.. (and maybe in some small way the future as well.. thru what my boys will carry with them into their own lives..)
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Ya know what? I ~am~ getting the *better deal* in this whole mess.. Sure I don't have a new, all spiffed up, with brand new furniture & all the fixin's, ultimate bachelor pad to show off, but that's just stuff...
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Mwahahahahaha (sorry, I know that this is mean, but it IS too effin funny). So XTB has packed up a lot of his sh#t, drove over to the new place to unload. Turns out new place isn't ready for moving in yet (guess he had just a few demands on things he wanted changed). So now the stuff is sitting in the drive way (as it sure as heck is not coming back here). Let's hope the weather holds..

I know I shouldn't get a (more than a little) chuckle out of this.. it's evil.. but man, HE decided that no, the move out into the glorious sunrise of a new life could NOT wait until after Xmas (I think he had anticipated me putting up a fight over it, begging him to stay for the boys sake... well, THAT ship sailed such a long time ago..) and now that *hurry to get started* is biting him in the ass...
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Situation with that little punk who decided that Salamander's lunchbox was his *let's mess around with S* playground has been addressed. Salamander had all of his lunch today, in peace. [we'll see if it holds... I'll keep checking in with Salamander on how things are going..]