So what started this?

To Blog or NOT to Blog, that IS the question…

[My apologies, Billy Boy, for the rip-off. This particular sentence though, has been stuck in my head ever since I started thinking about whether I wanted to start a Blog to get all those thoughts out that are rattling around in my cranium (and taking up precious space… yeah, yeah, yeah, right next to those loose screws and cobwebs..)]

Here’s the thing. I know that for my own sanity (what’s left, that is) I need to get certain thoughts, feelings, opinions (oh yeah, opinions aplenty) out. I have kept diaries in the past (with great benefit to myself and those that have to put up with me), and MUST do that again, considering all that’s currently going on in my life. I have written bits and pieces over the past few months on topics that I feel very strongly about. And I have been told by several people that I should find a way to get my thoughts (which is a really NICE way of referring to my opiniated rantings - thanks again, gals) in front of a broader audience. And that’s where blogging would be perfect.

But ya know, call me chicken, I was raised with the belief that thoughts are, well, private. Then again, I was raised with a lot of beliefs that I no longer hold as Sacred Truth. And really, not much in my life is private and holy anymore. Kinda happens when you have a special needs child.

Which brings me to why I need to find a way to get my thoughts, feelings and opinions out. Upcoming February, it’ll be two years ago that my beautiful precious oldest boy was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, specifically Asperger’s Syndrome (at that same time, several other alphabet soup difabilities were attached to his name as well, but more about THAT another time). He was just shy of his 6th birthday at that time. I had suspected for quite a while that this child marched to the beat of a different drummer, and in a way it was a relief to now have a framework in which I could understand that different tune. Getting his diagnosis, however, did start a roller coaster ride into the world of psychiatrists, neuropsychologists, speech and language pathologists, occupational therapists, biomedical interventions, conventional therapies, special education, IEPs, aides, FAPE, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah.

And to be honest (that's what this blog is all about - honesty), a world that I had never, ever expected to find myself in. A world that frequently leaves me confused, frustrated, exhausted, roaring mad, exhilarated, happy beyond belief, in awe, and with the desperate (?) hope that there IS a purpose to all the madness. A world that I don’t regret having entered, as it has changed me profoundly. For the better, I think.

But a world nonetheless that leaves me with precious little time to pause and reflect, to take care of myself, to spend time with friends to bitch about, uh I mean, ‘discuss’ how all that’s going on makes ME feel. Which brings me back again to needing to start a diary, to not EXPLODE!!

OK, some introductions. I am 36 years old (Taurus), mom of two wonderful boys that keep me very, very busy. I also have a full-time job (yeah, one of those that requires you to spend 40 hours or more away from doing what you really want to do, all so you can pay for what you really want to do, but don't have time to do - did I confuse you yet?) in the medical device industry, and you could say that I earn the majority of my salary by writing (very technical, not very exciting, writing).
My oldest boy, I’ll refer to him as Salamander (his nickname as a baby), as I mentioned has Asperger’s, and will be 8 years old in March (he is Aries). My little guy, I’ll refer to him as Potatey (rhymes with his name), will be 3 years old in March as well (he is Pices).

In my spare time (uh, those 4 or so hours a night that I am supposed to be sleeping), you can find me ‘hang out’ on various message boards that discuss topics related to autism, and that’s where I have gotten myself in trouble, uh, 'noticed' for various comments and opinions. I've been told by various people that most of my braindumps either make people stand up and cheer, or piss them off, so what the heck, if I am 'comfortable' making an a$$ out of myself on a few message boards, then I may as well go all the way and do it 'in public'.

Couple of things though, mainly to manage my own blood pressure. This blog represents my points of view based on my experiences, my thoughts, my opinions, and hours upon hours of reading, researching and talking to other folks that are 'in the know' (those that still want to talk to me, that is :) ). If you share my opinions, great. If you don't share them, that's great too. Constructive comments are always welcome, as are invitations to discussions. Provided that these discussions are conducted in adult fashion - I am not interested in discussions along the line of 'biomed is evil, and why can't you just accept your child the way whatever Power-in-the-Universe (with a perverse sense of humor, I may add) made him'. You can have those types of discussions elsewhere. You will also not find a whole lot of information as to the scientific basis or scientific 'proof' for the biomed interventions I have decided to pursue with my boys. There is plenty information out there on the web - go find it (if you have a specific question however, and you ask nicely, I will gladly point you in the right direction). I am also not interested in a debate as to whether autism actually exists or whether autism is 'simply' mercury poisoning - my belief is that, since mercury is a neurotoxin, it's got ABSOLUTELY no place being in anything that's being administered to our babies. End of Story.

What you will find is an honest account of why I decided to pursue biomed, what interventions we are pursuing and what is working/not working. And if the information I share helps one more parent to give biomedical interventions an honest try, well, that's all I can ask for.

To those of you that are already on the trek into BiomedLand with me - Glad to have you here. There truly is comfort and strength in numbers.
For those of you that haven't started the trek yet, but are about to - Welcome, and we love to have you with us.
For those of you that have reviewed the option of biomedical interventions but decided for whatever reason not to pursue - We will miss you, and we'll make the trek without you then.
For those of you however that are of the opinion that all biomed interventions are evil/voodoo science and geared towards fundamentally altering our kids way of being - Go away, the trek is hard enough as is, and we don't need you to make it even harder.

Stay tuned for future rantings.