Sunday, February 12, 2006

And then MY bucket spilleth over...

Salamander is doing much, much better, thanks to almost an hour of walking and tunneling through snow (12+ inches here and Mother Nature ain't done yet), and a couple of doses of Activated Charcoal. In fact, he improved so much that when he asked to go across the street to visit one of his friends and do an art project with her, I let him go without too much worry. And he ended up having a great time and doing an amazing Splash Paint project.

But then at around 6 pm, the dreaded call came. School is cancelled for tomorrow. While in other families this may be reason for great rejoicing, when you have two working parents, it's a different game altogether. Thank goodness DH will be off the road for a while, and is around to take care of Salamander for part of the day. But as he does have medical appointments to keep in the afternoon, I had to once again kick into high gear to orchestrate the necessary care. I wish I could stay home tomorrow to have an extended period of time for just me and Salamander, the poor kiddo has had a rough weekend and needs some extra TLC - but after last week's shenanigans, I can't afford to miss any more time at work.

And as I am going through my mental back-up care list to figure out who I can call for what part of the afternoon tomorrow, it all just became too much. I stood in my kitchen staring at my stove, not able to move, not able to speak. DH, being unusually receptive [but then again, seeing your wife stand in the kitchen, frozen, with this wild look in her eyes and two fists buried in her hair ready to tear it out by the roots is a hard signal to miss], realized that I was about to completely loose it in front of the boys, and shepherded me out of the kitchen while announcing to the boys that 'Mommy is going to take a nice, long, hot shower.' And I literally bolted up the stairs, hid myself in the bathroom and cried.

After I calmed down a bit I did take that shower; for 30+ glorious minutes I just stood there, staring at the bathroom wall, letting the hot water run over my aching back. And by the time I came out, the boys had had their dinner, a wonderful neighbor was plowing out our driveway (our snowblower called it quits this afternoon) and DH had managed to arrange care for Salamander for the early part of the afternoon (so he doesn't have to take Salamander with him on his doctor's appointments). I had already developed a plan for the middle and late part of the afternoon, so once again the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place and things were starting to look up a bit. Now let's hope that Potatey's day care is open tomorrow...

As to DH's doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, I find myself oscillating between hope (that this will help us set our first steps on the road to an answer) and dread/cynicism (that, just like has happened so many times in the past with the boys, it'll be a waste of time and money as the practicioner will already have the prescription for Prozac or the like ready to go). All I can do is wait and see (not my strongest suit..).

God, how I wish I could just take a couple of days off from work, and find some time, even if only a couple of hours each day, that I can use to regain my emotional balance. But alas, no such thing as rest for the weary....

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