Saturday, August 16, 2008

Bumpy.. Bumpy.. Bumpy..

And the day is only half done (sad, isn't it? To wish for a day to be once a day is gone, you can never get it back).

Low point so far? Holding Salamander in my arms, while he's crying so hard his whole body is vibrating and hearing him say over and over and over again; "I'm so sad, mommy, I'm so tired. I'm so sad, mommy, I'm so tired." And then making the transition to very very angry in less than 3 seconds and screaming at me: "Well, you just don't care. I can't sleep at night, but you are not loosing any sleep at all." Oh child of mine, if only you knew how much sleep I've lost over the past 3 to 4 weeks worrying about you, and how many hours I've been up in the nite reading and re-reading all my biomed/parenting strategies/anger management/raising an explosive child books..

Highlight so far? Salamander popping over to a yard sale two houses down (not even an hour after the above had happened) and coming back with a big grin on his face and a beautiful vase in his arms, and saying to me: "I wanted to buy this for you mommy, but when I told the people they gave it to me for free as they thought that was so sweet. I love you" Oh beautiful boy, what an incredibly sweet thing to do indeed .... and what made it even more special is that you did this on your own, without anybody prompting you.

A study in contrasts this man child of mine is.. And you just never know which side is going to pop out when....

Potatey is struggling .. too many upheavals, too many undercurrents, too many *unpredictable* reactions from his big bro to seemingly *minor* things... So Potatey is whiney, clingy and weepy (heck, -I- can barely hold it together, so how can I expect a little 5 year old to stay grounded?).

My heart aches.. for both my boys....

7:30 pm - Salamander IS doing better, after several hours of LOTS AND LOTS of structured physical activity involving all the large muscle groups (oh, the wonders of endorphins). Note to self: when Salamander gets *low* like he did today, GET HIM MOVING!!! [and I'm about to keel over.. but seeing him smile and seeing a twinkle in his eyes makes it all worth it].

8:55 pm - Salamander is complaining of his muscles hurting. Not completely surprising. I hope he's not going to be too sore/tired tomorrow.. It's a fine line - when he's so down, he needs the exercise to get that endorphin boost; but at the same time we need to be careful that he doesn't exercise too strenously as we have the mitochondrial issues to take into consideration (especially as he's been so tired, floppy, no muscle tone as of late..)


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