Turmoil....

Sorry.. started umpteen gazilion new posts, but can't seem to find 'the right tone'..

I am in turmoil, and I am having a really hard time articulating exactly what I am in turmoil about and why.

A lot has to do with Salamander and how to teach/guide/support him in his ventures into the 'neurotypical' 10 year old boy social scene. Salamander truly has made marked progress in navigating and participating in a variety of activities, but some attempts are definitely more successful than others. I realize that my Momma Bear instincts go into 'warp drive' when his attempts are less succesful and that I immediately want to 'jump in and make things right'. However, I need to pull back and let Salamander figure things out on his own, and yes, let him make his own mistakes; after all, that's how we learn..

Other parts of my turmoil have to do with 'recovery stories', especially as most of the 'published' recoveries seem to be about kids that were diagnosed by the age of 2, went through 3 or so years of intense therapies (biomed and more traditional), resulting in complete recovery by the age of 5 or 6. Salamander didn't get diagnosed until he was almost 6, and we've been working HARD for a little over 4 years now (using biomed and more traditional therapies). He's come far, very far, but 'complete recovery' as in 'indistinguishable from NT'? Nope...(and I'm not saying that that should be the end goal either.. I want for Salamander to be healthy, happy and have the skills and confidence to get through life in one piece.. and let's just say that we have much work left to get to that point...)

Lastly, my turmoil has to do with continued reports in the media that seem to 'blame' teenage boys' violent outbursts after years of bullying on said boys having been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. As in 'having Asperger's Syndrome equals blowing your stack in your teenage years and doing harm to your school mates'. I've tried to articulate my issues with these media reports on some of the autism blogs, but once again, I just can't seem to find the right words..

So for now, I'm going to give up on trying to quantify and qualify the why, what and how of my turmoil. I'm just going to let my emotions stew for a bit.. (and try real hard to get more than 2 hours of sleep...)