Tuesday, September 30, 2008

So Tonite...

my beautiful precious Salamander (yes the one who had his Verbal IQ kinda guestimated as the assessor ran out of material to assess him with, as he had whipped his way through all the various levels in the ENTIRE assessment book without ever slowing down) spent about 20 minutes in my arms, crying so so hard....

Somehow, someway, something he read today had made him think of several years into the future; a future where he had left the house to go off to College. And instead of filling him with excitement, it profoundly terrified him. The thought of leaving his favorite stuffed animals (he has an enormous collection of wolves; his spirit animal), the thought of leaving his home, the thought of leaving his family, the thought of leaving all that's familiar and comforting filled him with so much sadness and dread that all he could do was cry, and cry, and cry (TG that he was at least able to communicate to me what is going on).

I just crawled into bed with him, held him and reassured him that he does not have to leave anything or anybody, that he does not have to leave his home until he's good and ready to do so. And then only on his terms. And if that means he wants to bring his wolf pack with him, then he darn well could and should....

I have no idea where this came from. All I can think of is that he, either consciously or on some unconscious level, must have picked up on the repeated "well, in X more years, Salamander will have moved out of the house and -this- will all be behind you" talk over the weekend.
My beautiful child may have an off the chart "mental wattage" (which, to be honest, terrifies ME in ways that I cannot yet articulate), but he's so fragile, oh so fragile....

My plea to the Universe? Please, may there always be kindred spirits for Salamander to share his life's journey with. Kind souls who will look beyond those incredible smarts and instead see and take great care with the sweet, but fragile, soul within.

2 Comments:

At 4:07 AM, October 01, 2008 , Blogger daharja said...

*hugs* Poor little guy.

 
At 11:02 AM, October 01, 2008 , Anonymous Jeanne said...

poor Salamander... thank god he has you.

 

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