Friday, March 21, 2008

Why is it...

that certain people, just by showing up, can make me feel like I'm about an inch tall?

Is it the 'humanus superiorus' body language?
(my apologies for butchering Latin.. I'll look this up when I'm not so pissed off)

Is it the disdainful look, upon me, upon the house and everything in it and around it ?
(as in 'I can't -believe- you make the boys live this way')

Is it the saccharine yet pitying tone of voice used to address the boys, as in 'Everything is going to be OK, I am here and I'll do the thinking for you now' ?
(while I KNOW that by mid morning tomorrow, after having been on the receiving end of the boys' boundless energy for a couple of hours, that same tone of voice will have changed to 'It's my way or the highway, d@mn it!')

I DETEST any and all of the above (I'm trying my darnest to keep the attitudes and behaviors separate from the person.... and failing miserably at it)! It puts my teeth on edge and raises my hackles (and I have a LOT of hackle to be raised..).

But truth be told, I HATE myself even more for allowing the attitudes and behaviors of another person to make me feel this small and insignificant.

Yes, yes, I know.. spring equinox yesterday, full moon tonite, hormonal undercurrents and eating too much gluten this afternoon all contribute to my rather 'fragile state'.

But d@mn it, the boys and I had a GOOD run this week. Professionally this week has been extremely successful for me, Salamander has been doing really well these past several weeks and school gave wonderful feedback on Salamander's progress at his IEP progress review meeting, Potatey turned 5 this week and had a ball at his various birthday celebrations, and today the boys and I had a really good time together.

So why do I feel like an utter and complete failure????


At 9:03 PM, March 21, 2008 , Blogger Kim Stagliano said...

Uh oh.... Visitors? From far away? Being human (even the inferioria kind, as we Moms sometimes are) can truly suck. Yesterday I was lower than a snake's belly - after the GMA appearance - today? Sun came back up. Hit that kiosk Starbucks down the street from you - double Venti Macchiato and just hang on for the ride. It's what we do, right? If you fall off one of us will pick you up.


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