Going to be MIA for a Few Days...
I am going to be away from the blog for a few days.. I have a mountain of work commitments to deliver on by Friday. I have some personal stuff to take care of tomorrow and then Salamander has a doctor's appointment on Thursday, so not much time left in the week to get it all done.
Plus, truth be told, I need to step away from 'all things autism' for a bit. I've done a lot of soul searching since Thursday, and, as a result, am battling quite a few (old and new) demons. I am bone tired...
I find myself at a crossroads of sorts.. not an 'autism & biomed' virgin anymore, not yet a veteran. Not an 'angry mom' anymore, but not yet 'at peace with what is'. Salamander is not a young child with autism anymore, but not yet a teenager with autism.
Right now, I have no idea which way to go, what to do next (beyond doing what I'm doing obviously).... I have confidence though that the best path for me and the boyos will illuminate itself.. it always does...(it's just that, well, patience is NOT one of my strengths .. LOL).
On the pinky finger of my left hand I now wear two rings.. one that says 'HOPE', another one that says 'FAITH'. And I'll let those be my guiding principles...
P.S. To all the old and new kindred spirits I found in Chicago, I am so glad to have spent time with you. And Special Thanks to two biomed DADS I had the pleasure of talking with.. you guys helped me gain much needed insight on what YOU had to go through to grow (up?) from father of a child with autism to dad of a child with autism. You helped me understand that YOU and YOU ALONE were the ones that had to decide whether you were going to be 'in' or 'out' (and that it is NOT the mom of the child with autism's job to help the father make that decision, nor is it her fault when the father will not or cannot make that transition..)
posted by Petra @ 6:00 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
"YOU and YOU ALONE were the ones that had to decide whether you were going to be 'in' or 'out' (and that it is NOT the mom of the child with autism's job to help the father make that decision, nor is it her fault when the father will not or cannot make that transition..."
Wow... I'm going to digest this for a bit...
Have a good and well deserved break. I know the Universe will give you the information you are seeking. I wish you peace and strength (although you seem to have the lion's share of the latter).
Thanks :)
I am going to add a comment Mark Blaxill made somewhere on the Age of Autism blog. This particular comment of his has helped me through some really rough times, and now, after having had these absolutely delightful conversations with the two biomed DADS in Chicago,I AM more at peace with certain events/developments in my personal life. I actually think that I am now able to 'accept' (the realization that there is truly NOTHING -I- could have done or said differently to ensure a different outcome is helping a lot)... But I still have far to go when it comes to 'understanding' and then next 'forgiving'.. and I will never 'forget'...
Per Mark Blaxill:
"You suggest that warrior moms are guilty of putting their marriages at risk becuas they work too hard for their autistic children. But the fact of the matter is that a large proportion of dads don't step up to the plate and they should. How much is too much when you're fighting for your child's future? Who are you to say that the moms are at fault? It takes every ounce of parental energy there is to move an autistic child toward a better future and if the dad isn't ready to commit to that then he doesn't deserve the warrior mom as a wife."
And now I am truly going to go MIA, although my fingers are itching to post Dr. Wakefield's opinion piece in the Austin American Statesman...
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