A Little Scared...

Well, the information package from the hospital never arrived... But the hospital called earlier today to remind me of our appointment, so I took the opportunity to ask all my questions, to ask all of Salamander's questions...

The young lady I spoke with was very sweet, and some questions she could answer. Those she couldn't she wrote down on Salamander's chart. With a reminder to me to ask these questions again when we get to the hospital tonite...

When Salamander comes home from school, I'll try to find some quiet time, just with him so we can talk about tonite (I could save that for the car ride tonite, but it'll be dark by the time we get going. I'll be driving in unfamiliar territory and my night vision is quite poor. I won't be able to drive, find my way AND have an intense conversation all at the same time].
And I'll do my best to answer all his questions. And some questions I'll be able to answer now. And some I won't - some answers will have to wait until tonite.

And Salamander will cry, as he is scared and anxious. And I will hold him and tell him that I understand. And I will tell him, again, that I will be with him the whole time. And that we will get through this, together, like we always do.

But can I tell you a little secret? I am scared too... My mommy gut sense alarm has been acting out all day going: "What if.. what if.. what if.."
Shut up mommy radar. I get it. I do. That is why we are DOING this test....

[I'm going to take a shower before the boys get home from school.. hopefully that will help me get a little more grounded... And yes, I know, it's 'only' a sleep test ... remind me to tell you about another time when somebody, not Salamander, went in for 'only a sleep test'...)]