To Thine Own Self Be True...

I have to share this gem....

Thank you, Daharja, thank you....

And along these lines.. I think I am figuring out what it is about this particular season that is 'rubbing me wrong' somehow. It's all those d@mn expectations. This is the 'holly, jolly' season, so everybody MUST be 'holly, jolly', whether you feel that way or not. And inevitably, no matter how often you explain to 'outsiders' (those that don't operate in the special needs universe - I will say that I am eternally grateful for the fact that there are several 'outsiders' in my life who DO get it) that you don't do certain things, can't participate in certain traditions, need accommodations of a certain kind, they just don't get it. They expect 'holiday best' behavior, so inevitably there are going to be hurt feelings due to not meeting (unrealistic?) expectations.

I am far, far away from all of my immediate family. And this year, I experience that as an acute loss. I think because overall Salamander (and Potatey too) are doing so much better that I think they really would get a tremendous kick out of a big, noisy, family oriented Christmas bash. Other years, the distance has been a blessing in disguise (no offense, dear family members that visit my blog), as it meant that Salamander could pitch a fit of magnificent proportions without additional spectators; it meant that if the kids wanted cereal for Christmas dinner that was OK; it meant that if the entire Christmas Eve night was spent trying to get two super anxious/terrified boys (Santa, aka a stranger, entering the house in the dead of nite is NOT an exciting thought for ALL kids) calm enough to actually sleep for 1 to 2 hours, looking haggard and half dead on Chrismas Day itself was OK.

I have been working on a bigger blog post around all of this, and as an extension of it, on how to find that Calm Spot in the midst of the Holiday Emotions storm. I'll probably work more on it tonite and hope to have it up in time for the holidays....

In the mean time, love to all my fellow mommy warriors. Loss, pain, sadness is an acutely felt theme on many, many blogs these past several days. Know that you are not alone (as you have let me know that -I- am not alone). And know that I 'get it'.

And to stay with the theme, I think you will all like this poem (thanks Renee)