Hyper focus.. variable attention....

Well, as of Salamander's most recent neuropsych evaluation (which, by the way, WAS conducted during an intense mercury/lead/nickel detox cycle), we are now in the dubious position of having added the ADHD label to the alphabet soup......

It's no secret that spectrum kiddos have the ability to hyperfocus on their topics of interest. And it is an amazing experience to watch that happen and see your child INDEPENDENTLY go off and find information on their topic of interest, study up on facts, retain said facts and be able to put a whole presentation together. At a level that would make a High School science or history teacher proud to have said child be his/her student (Salamander will be nine in a couple of weeks).

The flip side of that coin is that, if their interest in a particular topic is not quite 'there', getting them to focus requires the persistence of Sisyphus, combined with the patience of Job...

Now I had noticed a very gradual, very slow improvement in Salamander's ability to focus on things that are not in his immediate area of interest, the ability to maintain that focus, and the ability to multitask, since the beginning of February. I noticed it in.. what may seem trivial.. things like being able to sit on the bed and continue to put his socks on/get dressed while telling me more than I ever wanted to know about vulcanic matter.. Previously, the socks would have either been torn to shreds in his fidgeting hands while he's telling me about vulcanic matter.. or I would have had to put the socks/clothes on FOR him while he's telling me about vulcanic matter. I also noticed him being able to work for about 10 minutes straight on his homework without getting out of his chair every 3 seconds for a drink of water or a potty break, or without asking me a.. for him vitally important.. question every 3 seconds, that..unfortunately.. has NOTHING to do with the homework at hand (this is WHY two sheets of homework take 1.5 to 2 hours in our house.. Sigh..).

Then last week, 'variable attention' came back with a vengeance.. Now his UTMs from beginning March show him to be in mercury, nickel, thallium detox.. so that could be a contributing factor. He also fell victim immediately after February school break to a nasty virus that is taking FOREVER to get rid off, so I am sure that is contributing too. And I also discovered (see one of my previous posts) that Salamander was tasked in school last week with erasing the white board in the classroom at the end of the day. Oh yes, I can almost 'see' several of you cringe when you hear this.. all those lovely Toluene, artificial fragrances (aka phenols), and other 'harmless' solvents going straight to the poor kid's head.. Salamander's transsulpuration pathway is royally.. well, the polite phrase would be.... messed up (I am thinking something a bit more 'strongly worded'), and I have noticed before that this pathway gets even more fragile during detox, so yeah.. all of the above combined.. no wonder attention went to pot.

But being able to pinpoint potential reasons doesn't make it any easier.. for all players involved.

So Salamander definitely needed most of Saturday to 'clear' his system, and then boom, Saturday night, I could just see 'the fog lift'. And he was absolutely amazing, especially in the attention department, for most of Sunday (Potatey's birthday). Salamander put together two of Potatey's new Lego toys, he followed the directions step by step, while fielding never ending questions from Potatey, and never once lost his place in the directions. Asked nicely for help when he couldn't find the necessary pieces (as whirlwind Potatey of course had ripped open multiple boxes/bags of Lego parts and had thrown them all in one big pile). And (and this is HUGE) happily handed over the completed Lego toys to Potatey without fussing, whining or complaining about the unfairness of not having gotten the same toys himself, and happily engaged in pretend play WITH Potatey using his OWN Lego toys without trying to domineer or control the flow of play. I actually sat back and watched the two of them chatter and play and make more Lego constructions for well over 2 hours.. without having to even once step in to defuse an impeding World War. I didn't know WHAT to do with myself .... LOL

Then at 4.30 pm yesterday afternoon.. bam.... things fell apart again. Not entirely sure what happened.. I do realize that both boys did eat a lot of meat this weekend and definitely 'binged' on almond flour cupcakes yesterday.. so probably protein/ammonia overload (which can throw the previously mentioned messed up transsulphuration pathway into further disarray..). The screeching/screaming came back (Salamander does this 'ambulance wail' thing when upset, frustrated, and/or not feeling well) and ability to focus was lost again (yes, yes, I know I should have done a UTM to see what/if he's dumping more metals.. out of test kits and (until my contracting invoices get paid) out of money..).

And boy, did we suffer from 'variable attention' this morning!! Now Salamander has been going to some sort of school setting since he was 8 weeks old, and he's been going to places with a set start time for well over 3 years now. And for those 3 years, it's been the same routine every single morning.. and every single morning, at 8.20 am, an alarm clock goes off in the house to remind the boys that it is time to stop playing, put their toys away and get themselves to the bathroom for brushing teeth and a potty break. Now Potatey, when the alarm clock goes off, will yell 'time to get ready', will put his toys away, come into the kitchen, put his shoes on, etc, etc.. with maybe one or two prompts from my end (he only just turned 4, so the fact that it only takes one or two prompts is spectacular in my book).

Salamander on the other hand.. and it was very prevalent again this morning.. despite multiple 5 minute 'heads-up' warnings before the alarm goes off, cannot just put away his toys.

Nope.

One toy gets put away, but another one needs to be moved, a third one needs to be touched, he needs to give me two hugs before he can go into the bathroom (I LOVE his hugs, don't get me wrong, I had to do without any hugs from him for YEARS due to his extreme tactile defensiveness.. ), then has to do a silly dance with the tube of toothpaste before he can put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, and then I have to watch him like a hawk and REMIND HIM every 10 seconds that he DOES need to brush his teeth (and not just chew on the brush and swallow the toothpaste..). Potatey by now is ready to go and chomping at the bit to leave.. It is now 8.30 am, and I still have to get Salamander to put on his shoes and get on his coat.

AAARRRRGGGHHHH...

So, 8.32 am, out the door we go. I always unlock my car from the back door, so the boys can get themselves in the car, while I schlepp all the backpacks, lunch boxes, my own junk out the house. Potatey runs out the back door, to the car, wrenches open the car door and proceeds to hoist himself in the car. And sits there waiting for me to clip him in. Salamander goes out too, with 4 reminders from me to please walk straight to the car and get in the car, as we are running late for school (once again). I come outside about a minute later (gathering all those d##n bags takes a while), and where is Salamander?

Nooo, NOT in the car. On top of a huge snow pile in the back yard re-enacting the Battle of Travalgar (don't ask..). Now I realize that even almost 9 year old NT boys would have had a hard time resisting a pile of snow. But man, if my 4 year old can resist same pile and get himself in the car as he knows we are running late, then you'd think the almost 9 year old can do that too..

And with Salamander, if it's not a pile of snow, then it's a twig on the drive way, or a piece of string, or a mud puddle, or an acorn that needs to be kicked/smashed/mushed, or a toy truck that has to be moved to a different location AT THE OTHER FRIGGIN' END of the yard...

Four more pointed reminders from me to Salamander to get his rear end of that snow pile and into the car, and finally we're off (8.37 am it is now.. thank God we are only 2 minutes away from school; first bell rings at 8:40 am, and we make it by the skin of our teeth pretty much every day... And believe me, I've tried getting the circus started at 8.10 am.. same thing happens..Salamander lives in a different time zone than the rest of us...).

Let me make it very clear that I LOVE this kid with all my heart and that I will do anything, ANYTHING to help him get better, and find his place in life.. I just hope, for his sake (and mine.. LOL), that the return of 'variable attention' is a temporary thing..and that, eventually, he will learn to understand that when it is time to get ready, it is time to get ready!!!!