Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Salamander The Beautiful


(Oh, and please, people outside of 'the community', do NOT wish me a 'happy world autism awareness day'.. While we certainly have many happy moments here in this house despite all of our challenges, the particular combination of words makes me want to throw up..)

Warning: The tune of this post is going to be radically different from what I wrote yesterday. Regardless, yes, I am still feeling that, considering where Salamander is now and where we were 4 years ago, I AM truly blessed...

[I do apologize for the crappy formatting.. I'll try to fix that later]

Here is my beautiful young man in Spring 2008 (after working our butts off for 4 long years towards getting him healthier, and living through many HARD times getting him there )

And here is that same child in the Spring of 2004, deadly ill and nobody, nobody was interested in listening to my worries or interested in helping me figure out what was so wrong. I'm sorry, but being 35 lbs soaking wet at almost 6 years of age, projectile vomitting 3 to 4 times a day while absolutely refusing to eat, catching every viral and bacterial infection 'in the book' (and then some) from his environment, etc. has NOTHING to do with having been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder..

But truth be told, the picture that really gets me going is Salamander at the age of 2 - with bright shiny eyes, big grin, happiness oozing out of every pore of his little body and looking STRAIGHT into the camera.

Was he already ill at that time? Frequently yes.. mystery infections were a permanent fixture in our house. Did he have sensory regulation issues at that age? Yes. Was he hyperactive at that age? Yes, but no more than any rambunctious, inquisitive boy of that age. Did he show the symptoms of autism at that age? NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

And dammit, looking at the picture of 2 year old Salamander, I want BACK where Salamander was at at that age (so shoot me for feeling that all that has happened to him, most of which could have been caught much earlier in his young life, has robbed me of something, has robbed HIM of something)

I know that eventually, ever so slowly, Salamander will get back to that 'enjoyment of life that oozed out of every pore of his body'. I will fight till my dying day to MAKE SURE that he gets a chance to get back to that point. And I will also continue to be a loud mouthed, obnoxious, in your face BITCH about telling you that what is called 'autism' is in most cases a completely fucked up (oops, did I actually write that?) metabolism.. something that is TREATABLE!!!!!!

(Let's just say that today the blissfull ignorance of the world at large when it comes to the suffering of our children really PISSED me off)


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