Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Is It January 11th Yet???

Breath in....
Breath out...
Breath in....
Breath out....
Do NOT let the passive aggressive b.. s... get under your skin....
Visualize yourself inside a nice, serene bubble that bounces off all negative crap...

Boys are good.
Salamander started math tutoring at Lindamood Bell yesterday (taking a temporary break from reading tutoring as he's done so well there and has remediated most of his gaps quite rapidly), and it is HARD for him (heck, that's why we're doing this). So he got snarly and moody and "I can't do this" yesterday. Today the light bulb went off, and things were a bit easier. He got more confident, realized that making mistakes is OK, and that, yes indeed, practice does help.

Potatey was a little beastie yesterday (oh, those UTMs of his.. they make me cry, as the amount of metals pouring out of this kid are quite high.. where the $!#$!# is all this crap coming from? TG it is coming OUT of him...), and he's off today too. Since I have been driving Salamander back and forth to Lindamood Bell both yesterday and today while Potatey spent most of the day alone with his dad, I am sure THAT is a contributing factor to his beasty-ness too...

Me? I am just trying to stay in my 'non reactive' zone.. but it's hard.. as the passive aggressive stuff is being piled on quite high (got a load of passive aggressive crap yesterday about spending money on a new mattress for Salamander - the kid has sleep issues and his current mattress is 15+ years old!!!! He NEEDS a new one... There is more to this particular story, which I will get into on my other blog...)


P.S... If you have any tips or suggestions on how to better fortify oneself to the negatve emotions projected by a person who goes through life with the big cloud of 'my life is a disappointment to me, my kids are a disappointment to me, my children's mother is a HUGE disappointment to me' hanging over his head.. .BRING IT ON!!! I can use all the help I can get, as these projections are wearing me down...

3 Comments:

At 8:13 PM, December 30, 2008 , Blogger Navywifeandmom said...

Sorry I don't have any advice for you here about that kind of attitude.

My other half's work car broke down today over at the grocery store and he claims he's "not in a grouchy mood" but he's sure snippy with everyone that comes within two feet of him@@. Yeah right you're not in a mood.

 
At 8:18 PM, December 30, 2008 , Blogger Michelle O'Neil said...

Holy crap. How do you stay so positive?

Maybe move that guy to the old mattress and take Salamander in with you? Just a thought.

; )

 
At 9:37 PM, December 30, 2008 , Blogger Petra said...

NavyWife - oy. The thing is cars break down. That's all. It's not personal. But try tellng that to 'em, eh? Hope the mood blows over soon.

Michelle - that guy has his OWN mattress and that's where he can very well stay, thank you very much. :)

As to staying positive - I have no choice. I HAVE to, for the boys. But I honestly admit that some days are harder than others.
This whole attitude thing I described is pervasive and has been pervasive for many many generations far far back in that family, with lots of profoundly depressed, passive aggressive, bipolar, manic 'presentations'. When I first became aware of this way back in the days, I kind of brushed it aside as a 'no way, I'm imagining things' kinda thing. But oh, did it rear its ugly head amongst the extended family members when Salamander received his first official diagnosis, and oh, did it get even worse when it became apparent that Potatey had some challenges too. And it spread from there into my own little family. When I realized what was happening (about 4 years or so ago), I made my boys a promise that I was going to break that d@mn cycle. That no matter what, I was going to teach them that there is a different way of dealing with life's challenges than 'blaming everybody else', or making one's unhappiness known by passive aggressive behaviors.

Time will tell if I can succeed (if I look at how Potatey tackles life and its challenges head on, I think something is working; similarly, as Salamander is getting so much better at verbalizing what is bugging him, I think something is working there too).

In the mean time, I keep the faith and take things one day, sometimes one hour, at a time...

 

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