So Yes..
the rumors are true....
I am actually going to be part of the gathering (well, I am planning on being part of it..) that's been written about here, and here, and here.
Pinch me.. this is so unreal. I still don't know how that happened..
I mean, really.
Here I am, itty bitty 'autism momma' amongst all these giantesses....
I feel like Cinderella crashing the party in the Castle (and while I may not turn into a pumkin at midnite, I may exactly do just that after a few glasses of wine..)
posted by Petra @ 10:25 AM
7 Comments
7 Comments:
Oh stop! You are NOT an itty bitty autism momma. To me you are one of the giantesses! You and Jeanne are my giantesses! I know Michelle because of Riley's service dog (I contributed), and Michelle has made some loans on Lend4Health. And I know Kim from AoA. But I don't know the rest of them so I don't know how on earth they could be cooler than you!? Heck, they're not even on Twitter! :) ahhahahahaha So you go and have a rocking good time (and if you have a spare moment, please feel free to carry the Lend4Health torch to this awesome gathering of moms who might "get it" and be able to help spread it!)
Have SOOOOOO much fun!
Tori :)
Sorry was that self-serving of me to ask you to represent Lend4Health at your life-changing event? Oops! Sorry! (but I dont take it back) :)
THANKS!!
(for that incredible vote of confidence - sitting here with a big silly goofy grin on my face..)
It's funny/silly really.. I've done big presentations in all kinds of settings to all kinds of 'important' people, but when it comes to this kind of stuff? I shake in my (high heeled) boots..
It's just all so d@mn personal, so close to the heart, so IMPORTANT, there is just so much at stake..
And of course I'll use any and all opportunities to spread the Lend4Health mission...And no, not self serving at all to ask.... tenacious? persistent? committed?(no NOT that kind of committed..LOL) - YES!!
haha. You know, I'm having dinner tonight with some "do gooders" I've met on Twitter. I'm having EXACTLY the same issues. What do I wear? What if I'm not "good" enough for them? What if they realize I'm clueless? hahahahaha :) So weird. It's good for us all, though, to bridge that world between the virtual us and the REAL us. Makes everything SO much more powerful; makes our missions so much stronger; makes our reach that much longer.
I hear ya, I hear ya.. Funny how, no matter what we do, no matter what challenges we have conquered that life has thrown our way, it is so easily to fall back into the 'what if they don't like me' stuff..
I'll be honest, my fears(??)/challenges(??) around this gathering don't have as much to do with what shall I wear, am I good enough, etc. I'll repost what I wrote on Jess' blog this morning...
####
“What if my kid is not autistic enough. Yes, I actually said that. I thought it”
OMG Jess, thanks for saying what I find myself thinking so many times, what has kept me away from these kinds of gatherings in the past, what I have actually had hurled at me by parents of children much more affected than my guy, whose kids have not made the progress my guy has made.
I am not worried about wearing the wrong clothes, being too heavy, too grey haired (FIXED THAT.. LOL), being too loud, dropping the F-bomb (totally guilty), saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (perfected that skill; open mouth insert BOTH FEET).
I am terrified (so there, I admitted it) of not being ‘allowed in’ because my guy has made so much progress over the past 5 years.. he truly is not that ‘autistic’ anymore (on good days, that is.. bad days? it’s all back..). That doesn’t mean I don’t understand exactly what you all are going through, the struggles, the pain, the disappointments, the triumphs, the whole mucked up roller coaster ride. I’m still riding it.. but just not as frequent and as long as I used to.
Does that fact make me loose my membership to ‘the club’? Will I, once again, find myself on the outside looking in (like I am at gatherings with moms of neurotypical kids?). I guess I’ll find out..
So there, I put it out there. The whole insecure messiness of it all..
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You know, that's interesting. Sometimes I wonder if I am "allowed" to be doing Lend4Health or having a GFCF blog, or the Poop Blog, or commenting on the GFCFKids yahoo group because my child is not autistic. Well, he was never diagnosed as such, although I thought he was (so did my mom, my brother, my day care provider). But now that he's come so far, it's like I wonder if I'm being "false" by having a site that helps families with autistic kids. EVERY FAMILY who has applied for a loan on Lend4Health has asked me if I have a child on the spectrum, and sometimes I want to say "yes" so that I'm seen as "one of the crowd" and so they trust me. Isn't that wild? Sometimes I wish he HAD been diagnosed with autism so I could show people how he has improved so much on biomedical. It's really weird how that works.
Hey,
Of course you understand what everyone has been through!!
The community needs people who have had success, so we can all have hope.
Even though Nick is 16 and has come so far, we are not done.No one can see the journey Nick has been through when they interact with him. Does he appear typically Autistic anymore, not so much. But the minute he starts to speak, it is very apparent. No such thing as not damaged enough!!
As I posted on another of your posts. I expect a full report about your evening and pictures if possible. I loved John Robison's book! I was drawn to the book because of the title, not even knowing what it would be about. I wish I had a dime for every time one of the "Experts" said over and over to Nick..."LOOK AT ME,LOOK AT ME" Gag! He cant look at you!!! Just keep working!
Have a wonderful time, someone should be making a video!!!!!
And Tori...You get to be a *Rock Star* in the community because of your selfless work to help other peoples kids!!!!!!!!!
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