Saturday, June 28, 2008

Once Upon a Time..

Need to put one thing 'out there' (especially as I have no idea yet where the writing below is going to take me).. The past 9 or so years have been really difficult, and now that I am starting to look back a bit, I don't really now how I've gotten through some of them (especially 2005, 2006 and 2007 were the years of the Great Disaster Stack-Ups). Shear pigheadedness I guess.. I also know that I have several more tough years ahead of me (no, this is not Doomsday thinking.. this is me being a realist)

One thing I will never regret.. having my two precious boys....

I started writing this a while ago.. Figured it was 'time' to put this up in light of some of the earlier discussions... It's not finished, more to come..

Once Upon a Time..

There was a girl. A bright girl, a happy girl, a girl that was used to working HARD for what she wanted and not taking "NO" for an answer. The girl had friends, not many many many (like some girls), but enough to feel like she was part of something. The girl's friends were mostly guy friends (girl had a few girl friends, but never really related that well to the *frilly frippy crowd*) The girl cared deeply for her friends and they did for her.

The girl graduated from High School, and fell deeply in love for the first time (there had been boyfriends before, but nothing serious.. soon after getting into boyfriend/girlfriend territory, boyfriend would *claim* girl too much, girl would feel suffocated, pull away and end up back with her friends - who all understood her need for emotional space; in fact they were all exactly like that). Girl went to University in a town away from her hometown and Boy Friend followed her to be with her. And all was grand.

It was during her 2nd year at University that girl realized she had *paired up* for all the wrong reasons (as all her High School friends had SOs, and she felt lonely), and that Boy Friend, while putting up a great act, really didn't care too much for Girl's independent spirit and *stubborn ways*. Girl realized that this relationship was going down a path that was NOT a healthy one and she tried to end it. Unfortunately, Boy Friend wasn't willing to accept that things were over, and things turned ugly, very ugly. Very, very ugly....

Girl had made new friends in University (again mostly guys), and thanks to these friends in University, girl got herself out of the mess she was in, she moved on, she was happy again, she started to thrive.

Girl promised her circle of friends that she was going to take the time she needed to really figure out what she wanted.. out of life.. out of a relationship..

Then Girl met someone who seemed so so different from all the Boys she had been with before. And Girl fell for it; hook, line and sinker. Girl broke her promise to her friends. She didn't take the time to figure out what she really wanted... nor did she really have a very good idea what the new Boy was all about, and what, deep down in her core, SHE was all about....



At 9:20 AM, June 29, 2008 , Anonymous Jeanne said...

When can we expect Part II?

At 9:44 AM, June 29, 2008 , Blogger Petra said...


When I can the emotional fortitude to actually write it...

I'll probably split the next *installment* into a few parts. Part II being from where I left off until first few years of marriage. Part III from when Salamander was born until his diagnosis (and somewhere in that timeframe Potatey was born too; Potatey was 4 months old when I *forced* various folks in starting the diagnostic process for Salamander), Part IV from Salamander's diagnosis until early 2007. I think I have *processed* all of those time periods by now to be able to write about them.

At 4:18 PM, June 29, 2008 , Anonymous Jeanne said...

I look forward to reading them.


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