Wednesday, July 16, 2008

On Asking for Help...

I am terrible, no, HORRIBLE at asking for help.



And I am even worse at accepting help.
(you should ask one of my friends what I told the MTs that came to help me several years ago after I took a nasty spill on the pavement and busted both my knees open down to the (patella) bone and cracked my nose ... I stayed very polite, but I basically told them to 'take a hike as I was just fine.'.. )

There's something programmed into my psyche that immediately goes "You're a total f#ck-up. You should be able to do all of this on your own. What is this b# s# about needing help", whenever I even THINK about maybe, just, maybe asking for help.

I need to get over that.

For my boys' sake.

I've been asked frequently over the past several years by close friends and family "What can we do to help? Just say the word, it can be anything." And I always go into my "Oh, we're doing OK. I'll let you know if I think of anything" spiel.

And most of the time, I can manage on my own (money wise that is.. I have learned the hard way that I do need physical help in caring for the boys .... and I have been extremely lucky in that regard that I've been able to find wonderful people that are willing to do so, and who are now a very important part of our lives .... Of course I do pay them for their time.. Hello?? I don't work for free either...)

Right now, I am managing VERY WELL on my own (as my business has been just *humming* along). But it hasn't always been like that, and it won't always been like that (and I only recently was able to *get rid* of several very nasty looking credit card statements that are testimony to the "it hasn't always been like that" bit).

I realize, however, that the people that ask me *the question* truly want to help, regardless of whether I can pay for stuff on my own or not (or whether I can choke down my pride for more than 3 seconds.. LOL)

So (getting waaaaaay out of my comfort zone here), I set up a "Donate" button in the right hand column on the blog. It's linked to a fund I set up under my paypal account. And I solemnly swear that any contributions made will be used only, and ONLY, for stuff for the boys (I can use my paypal account at the place where I get the majority of the boys' supplements and medical tests ordered).

To all of who who have offered so many times before to help:
HAVE AT IT (or not). It's entirely up to you.

And if you do, know that you will have my eternal gratitude.


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