Sunday, July 20, 2008


Things continued to be *bumpy* yesterday. Salamander was quite jittery around me yesterday, and although it broke my heart to see him so *on eggshells*, it also shows me that he got that he really crossed a line yesterday.

To provide some perspective, Salamander certainly has gotten physical with me before. Especially when he's in detox, head butting, pinching, biting, spitting, kicking is par for the course. But typically I can see these episodes/actions coming, and then re-direct or deflect. But he has never ever slapped me in the face before, and especially NOT without any type of warning. He completely caught me off guard.

Now granted, several things had happened on Friday afternoon and on Saturday morning that added to the built up of what then culminated in, what shall now be referred to as, the *slapping episode*. It is also incredibly hot and muggy out here (which contributes to "glutamates rising" and Salamander is extremely sensitive to glutamates). And we had a Full Moon on July 18 (yes, this sounds kinda New Age bullshitty, but I've been at this long enough to know that Full Moon definitely makes Salamanders *claws* come out). Regardless, the way Salamander responded is unacceptable and inexcusable, and he gets that.

Around 5 pm yesterday afternoon, he became increasingly agitated. Very fidgety, snappy, definitely the claws coming out again. He looked at me with this look of panic on his face and said "Mom, my head is just racing and racing and racing. My brain feels all hot and if I don't cool it down it's gonna explode." A pretty darn good description of neurotransmitters just having gone completely kooky. So I gave him his bedtime GABA with dinner, and then after dinner when I asked him how things were he did say his brain had slowed down (now whether that was the effect of the GABA, or the effect of eating, who knows... and really who cares.. he felt more in control, and that's what matters).

At bedtime he was quite anxious. We had to go through the 'is the stove off, are the smoke detectors working, are all the electric appliances off, are the fire extinguishers working' spiel again (Salamander is TERRIFIED of fires, and can be quite OCD about fire prevention measures). Poor thing also said; "Momma, I have all these feelings and I can't sort through them. I need your help!" Of course it's hard to help when your child can't tell you exactly WHAT they are feeling, so I just held him for a while until he calmed down. He even said; "Mommy, can I sleep with you tonite?", which he has not asked for for a loooooong time. As I really don't want to fall back into that habit again, I explained to him that he couldn't (and why), but I reminded him that my bedroom is right next door to his and that he could come find me if he needed me.

So something is *off*. As usual, it'll be a combo of many, many things, and we'll just have to work through things until all the pieces fall into place again.
I'm just glad for one that we are NOW at a point that these kinds of conversations are possible. They weren't a couple of years ago...

Well, I gotta go make sure my monkeys take their umpteen gazillion supplements.. I'll be back on later..

Oh, a closing comment to Mr. Mike Savage (yes, the idiot that's been spouting off regarding kids with autism and their parents):

"I hereby invite you to spend a week in my house, preferably during a period when it's incredibly hot and muggy and preferably with a Full Moon during that same time period. Then you'll get to see how much of *autism* is due to inept parenting. You'll get to see what it takes to parent a 10 year old boy with ASD, NLD, several LDs, a slew of medical problems, an anxiety disorder, bipolar tendencies, who's entering puberty (want any fries with that?). My bet is that you'll be running from this house screaming within less than 24 hours (like most *men*), as it takes *balls* (which you obviously don't have) to be in the *war zone* 24/7/365/20+.

And then there are also several families with completely neurotypical children I'd like to introduce you, so you can really see what inept parenting looks like.

Mike, you're a donkey's behind."

Added at 12.30 pm:
Mike Savage's *Apology*. And who says that autism parents don't have a sense of humor...


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