Milestones....

So Salamander reached a new milestone this morning. He started using deodorant (all natural, aluminum free of course.. he and I are not working our butts off to get toxins OUT of him to put them right back in..). He does not NEED the deodorant just yet.. but that time won't be far away. And as a friend reminded me when I shared that Salamander had been *nagging* me about getting him some grooming essentials "USE that interest to get routines established NOW."

So we are...

He is definitely growing up.. I've seen an increase in the peach fuzz on his face...(especially off to the sides of his upper lip).. and there are some other signs too... A friend stopped by for a bit last nite, who hadn't seen Salamander for a few months. And the first things out my friend's mouth were, after Salamander uncurled himself from a chair: "When the heck did Salamander get this tall?' and "Wow, he's turning into Mr. Universe." (as Salamander's shoulders are DEFINITELY broadening.. and he has a lot more muscle definition). Salamander grinned like the Cheshire Cat hearing those comments...

I am excited and ABSOLUTELY PETRIFIED AT the same time (as I am now truly entering *uncharted* waters..)

Anyway, when I dropped Salamander off at camp yesterday, I asked the lead counselor how he had been doing that week (as Salamander has been so so so so TIRED..).

Her response: "I just have to tell you how absolutely GREAT he is this year. What a difference with previous summers. He is participating in every single activity, he's playing a lot with the other kids, really appropriate play. And he is having these incredible conversations! With us, with the other kids. In past years, he avoided any and all team activities. He would try to get away the moment he got the opportunity. And in team activities, he would just stand there, not knowing what to do. Now he can't get enough. He's actively coaching the other kids, he's negotiating when there's an issue, he's supportive of the other kids. He is one of the most popular kids. And he's so HAPPY this year! He is having such a good time."

My mouth just fell open. Sure, Salamander has made a TON of gains over the last year, especially in the past 4 to 6 months or so. I just lost sight of how much (tends to happen when you're *at it* 24/7).... And he has been talking a LOT about what happens during the day at camp this year (prior years I've had to drag any information out of him..)

It was an incredible feeling to hear all this praise tumble out of this counselor's mouth (and believe me, while she has always tried very hard to be understanding of Salamander's particular issues and challenges, and to be supportive, I think she did get *fed up* with him at times.. And I DO understand THAT). And definitely validation that all that we've worked on so hard over the last 4+ years and the many HELLS we've gone through are paying off.

Salamander is truly coming into his own .. and I can't WAIT to see what happens next ...


I did try to share all of this with Salamander's dad this morning.

And what came back was "So it sounds like Salamander is taking on a leadership role with the other kids? (the *finally* was left unspoken).

I responded that THAT, to me, really was a development of much lesser importance.

The important development to ME (and I think to Salamander too) is that he is really starting to ENJOY participating in all these interactions, being with other people, building relationships with other people.

Counter comment: "Well, being a leader will really boost his self esteem."

Personally, I don't think the 'being a leader' bit will boost Salamander's self esteem. I think that continued success at making and keeping friends, continuing to have satisfactory and rewarding (to Salamander personally) play experiences, having other kids like HIM and ask HIM if he can please come and play with THEM (as opposed to the other way around) will really boost his self esteem.

But maybe that's because I'm a woman. Maybe to a male this whole *leadership thing* is of much greater importance...