Monday, February 23, 2009

And Here...

is one of the reasons I cannot yet write about Saturday's dinner. A comment was left on Jess Wilson's blog in response to her announcement of the dinner event - a mean spirited, spiteful, angry comment. And I haven't been able to get it out of my head.

I'll let Jess do the talking...

I am just going to say one more thing. I am sick, sick, sick, sick to my stomach (literally) of the autism mommy wars. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

Am Closing Comments - I'm DONE.


At 6:42 PM, February 23, 2009 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for your support. i'm with ya, sister. 100%. it was an honor and an incredible pleasure to meet you.


At 7:29 PM, February 23, 2009 , Blogger Petra said...

And I see that the wars continue.

I was going to leave this comment on your blog, but I don't want to add any oil to the fire on your blog. So I'll put it here instead.

Jess? you have nothing to apologize for.

To the other 'you folks with high functioning kids don't know what it's like' poster - ENOUGH ALREADY (oops, I shouted again, didn't I?). I empathize with your co-worker, I really really do. Several friends of mine have kids that are severely affected. I experience their and their children's struggles up close and personal.

And you know what? For many many many years (almost 6.5 years) every single day with my son with Asperger's was a real, real, real struggle; severe anxiety and sensory processing disorder making it almost impossible to leave the house unless certain rituals were executed (and god help me if I forgot or skipped a step), hours long destructive tantrums, psychotic breakdown, suicide attempts, aggression that was out of control (broken windows and holes in walls as testimony), no self help skills - NONE; I fed him, I dressed him, I helped him pee, I wiped his bum, I bathed him, I undressed him and cleaned him up when he had an accident. Sure, he could talk, he could tell you everything you ever wanted to know about every single construction vehicle known to man (and then some), he could rattle off engine specifications.

I know that autism is a serious disability. I KNOW.

At 10:07 AM, February 24, 2009 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the commenter was also pointing out that Jess does a lot of what she does to bring attention to herself. She must know her. Sorry but this woman doesn't strike me as having it too rough. Pretty mild autistic kid and no money worries to pay for therapies.

At 10:29 AM, February 24, 2009 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok so you had to deal with it for years, but your son has improved immensely. Can you imagine if he hadn't? He'd be in residential right now. Imagine the people who have to make that decision? I am sure they aren't spending their time planning parties to give people of very mildly affected children free dogs. She should leave the autism advocacy to those who have a clue and truly live with the hardships of autism.

At 10:30 AM, February 24, 2009 , Blogger Petra said...

Anonymous - I don't think the commenter knows Jess at all..

And what does 'this woman doesn't strike me as having it too rough' got to do with anything? That precludes her from putting a dinner together with some fellow bloggy friends to celebrate the fact that another bloggy friend was able to raise the funds to get her daughter a service dog?

Back to the 'if your child is only mildly affected and if you have money to pay for therapies then you don't know what it's like.' B.. S..

"And the wheels on the bus go round and round.."


At 10:38 AM, February 24, 2009 , Blogger Petra said...

Anonymous - I am very aware of the fact that if my son hadn't made the progress he has made, he'd either be dead (there, I said it) or in residential. And my heart breaks for every parent who had or has to make that decision. There is nothing worse than having to admit that you cannot help your child, that nothing you can do is 'making it better'.

And I bless my lucky stars every single day that I was able to fight the right combo of 'things' that helped my boy get better. Just like my heart and stomach go right back into my shoes every single time I see a 'backslide'.

And it's discussions like these why I avoid getting sucked into 'autism advocacy' like the plague.No matter what a person does, there's always somebody that's unhappy with what you say, how you say it, why you are not going it their way, or bitching about whether you're qualified or not.


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