I AM TIRED!!!!

Am I gonna say it?

Hell yes, I AM gonna say it...

I am tired, tired of having to be the grown-up ALL THE TIME,

tired of having to be the ROCK ALL THE TIME (and then being presented by another person as "cold, unfeeling, no compassion, controlling, un-trusting, etc"),

tired of always having to keep on the *happy, positive, things will come together* face/mood/spirit in front of the boys [and of course I'll keep doing that, for the boys sake]

tired of not being able to sleep at night worrying about mortgage payments, health insurance, utility bills, grocery bills, how to keep the boys' protocols going etc etc [while another person passes out for a MINIMUM of 9 hours and needs to have a long nap during the day]

tired of being expected to "play nice and keep a lid on my anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness" for sake of preserving the parenting relationship

tired of having somebody use his particular complex of health challenges (and I don't deny there are health challenges - but they are not nearly as debilitating as presented) as an excuse for 'not doing'

At some point, more ranting will follow over here. Haven't had the energy yet to do so, plus, really, right now it's better for me to NOT dwell in negativity.. I've got a mountain of work that must get done.. before I need to move into dinner crunch time ...


P.S. And then these two quotes came my way over the course of the day:

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round-remembering that the man who fights one more round is never whipped."

James Corbett

"Tough times never last, but tough people do."

Robert H. Schuller