Thursday, July 03, 2008

A Dilemma....

11 pm Update: We watched the fire works from the beach, boys are now safe and sound asleep in their beds. And Salamander said to me: "Don't worry mom, there's no way I would have gone on the boat tonite. Too dark, too windy." Good for HIM!! (but it is a sad state of affairs when the one with the most common sense is a 10 year old boy with an Autism Spectrum Disorder....)

So a friend of mine and I are planning on taking our collective brood to watch the fire works tonite. The fire works take place over a lake, and I happen to have access to a boat club at that lake, so we have prime access to really good viewing spots.

The boys dad is a member of that particular boat club, he has a sailboat there and pretty much spends every waking moment at the boat club in the May to October time frame.

So the boys dad knows that we are planning on seeing the fire works tonite, so he suggested to get the boys to the boat club a bit early and have them play on the beach, while I wait for my friend and her kids. Then we'll all meet up at the boat club and watch the fire works together. Sounds all very mature and civilized, right?

Right, EXCEPT for the fact that he suggested to the boys that they watch the fireworks ON the lake itself, from the sailboat. YIKES!! And here's why the YIKES!!!

1) Potatey does not yet swim. Yes, he's got a good doggie paddle with his life preserver on, but it's not swimming (Salamander does swim like a fish TG).

2) This boat is only 20 feet or so long and not exactly the most stable. In fact, about 3 years ago, it capsized.. with Salamander on board (I was at home with Potatey). Salamander got trapped UNDER the boat inside the small cabin. TG there was an air pocket and TG he did not get tangled in any lines, but still it took quite some work to retrieve Salamander from under the boat. The *only* things Salamander ended up with after this incident were hypothermia (he was hospitalized for about half a day), a paralizing fear of boats that lasted for well over 2.5 years (in fact he only recently conquered that fear), and a very nasty bacterial and viral infection that took a long time to clear.

3) It's going to be dark, and the winds are very gusty tonite.

4) What IF they are all on the boat, in the dark, and there is a wind gust and the boat goes over again? There is NO way you can see where the boys are, whether they may have gotten trapped somewhere.

So needless to say, I am NOT comfortable with the idea of 'watching the fireworks from the boat tonite'. But of course as soon as I expressed my concerns, 'I am worrying too much', 'I don't trust him with the boys', 'You're always assuming the worst', 'I don't ever let him do something fun with the boys' (hmm, not true.. he could have joined them at the water park this past weekend???)

I can't win in this particular situation. My, in my opinion, legit concerns for my boys safety are always, always, always being put in the light of me 'being a biotch'. I have no idea what to do, all I can hope for is that the boys themselves refuse to set foot on the boat. And if that doesn't happen, and if they do go out on the water tonite (I still have hope that some common sense will prevail), I'll be praying to every deity I know to keep my boys safe from harm.

What really kills me is that after the previous boating incident involving Salamander, the boys' dad was hysterical and absolutely guilt ridden and promised, promised, promised to be more careful, and yes, that I was right, and that things could have been so much worse.... (as in Salamander could have easily drowned).

Unfortunately, these moments of 'enlightenment' never ever last...


At 11:26 AM, July 04, 2008 , Anonymous Jeanne said...

Well hell, I left you a comment last night but somehow it's on the post below this one. Could be because I was on my cell phone... who knows? Either way, I am glad to hear everything went off without a hitch.

Happy 4th!

At 11:33 AM, July 04, 2008 , Blogger Petra said...

Thanks!! Happy 4th to you and yours too...

I'll reserve judgement for the rest of the day to see if everything went off without a hitch. Potatey seems OK, but is a bit weepy, whiney, and quite anxious. Salamander woke up *dragging ass* WIPED today, even though he slept until 10 am (!!) (obviously both boys were up waaaay past their bed times). Salamander absolutely is a tad 'disregulated'. So we'll see how things go..


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