Saturday, January 31, 2009

Memories (some good, some bad)

Apparently it's been quite cold in 'ye ole country'. My mom send me this beautiful picture of a pond in a park about 10 minutes from the house I grew up in (where my parents still live).

Thanks mom, for the beautiful pic, and the 'trip down Memory Lane' [my butt and the ice on that pond have had more close encounters than I really care to remember. Ouch. But I was actually a pretty decent ice skater. It's the 'coming to a stop' part that I had difficulties with.. LOL].

It's been a long time that it's been cold enough out there for enough ice to form to skate, and I've been told that certain family members were a bit overconfident getting back on their skates.. with the resulting, predictable, results [you know who you are.. GRIN.. Hals und Beinbruch, eh? Minus the Halsbruch..]

Yesterday's 'during the day' respite was good. I dropped a sh1tload of money at the WFM (less good), and then had lunch with two girlfriends (thanks EG and KG; I had a lovely time.. and it's so nice to be able to drop the good ole' 'F' bomb in conversation without anybody battling an icelash & hurling da bomb right back).

And it's a good thing that I took that break, as all hell broke loose from about 3.25 pm on (yeah.. funny how that time coincided with the arrival of the school bus in my street, eh?).

None of the 'hell' was triggered by the little boys... you can guess where I'm going with this. It just blows me away that after 5+ years of seeing me interact with and parent the boys (well, maybe that's the problem.. I don't think that what I do is 'seen' at all), certain 'basics' still don't register (here's the "unhinged" version. WARNING - not for the faint of heart):
  • Don't make promises you don't intent to keep (and then come up with some phony baloney excuse as to why you couldn't).
  • You cannot expect a not even 11 year old boy with an autism spectrum disorder and bipolar tendencies, and on the edge of puberty to have 'complete control over his emotions' all the time. On bumpy days, yeah, the claws come out. And sometimes 'choice words' get spoken. But things weren't escalating (Salamander was simply expressing his frustration in an appropriate manner; and I'll take verbal over physical any day), at least NOT until somebody started yelling at Salamander to 'knock it off'. That's when things got ugly in a heartbeat (especially as Salamander hadn't processed the previous 'disappointment' situation properly yet). And as I was in the throws of a pounding migraine.. well, my reaction speed wasn't what the situation required.
  • Routines and the need for consistency are SACRED. PERIOD. There are times that that absolutely sucks, but it's part of the package. Doesn't mean that spontaneous things can't happen, but you need to gauge the situation and then go from there. When things are already shaky, don't F#CK with the routine. Especially NOT the bedtime routine. Took me until 10 pm last nite (with my brain oozing out of my ears due to the migraine) to get the monkeys calm enough to be able to go to sleep.



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