Saturday, August 29, 2009

We're BACK!!

Boys and I had an awesome time. They did so very very well (above and beyond my expectations) - we had so many fun experiences together and made some really precious memories (I'll write about all we did and experienced when I am a bit more organized and not so tired..)

Today's homecoming ROYALLY SUCKED tho.. for many, many reasons..

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Off to The Cape

Boys and I are leaving town today, for a week stay in a beach house on the Cape (yes, we'll get to see the ocean swells generated by Hurricane Bill.. that will be soooo COOL. And no, we won't be going into the water when the waves are like that.. that just would not be safe).

We'll be back next Saturday. It'll be good to be away from all the B... S.. for a bit (no, boys' dad is NOT coming along. He's got much more pressing matters to attend to, like find a new job. Plus he is so NOT a beach person...)

In case you're wondering how I can pay for a stay on the Cape, smack dab in the middle of summer season? Well, this particular trip was booked and paid for WELL before the current sh#t storm struck..

Catch you on the other end..

(I have no idea whether or not I'll have access to the web.. I'll figure that out once we get there.. and if not, I think it'll be good to go *unplugged* for a bit..)

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Am I gonna say it?

Hell yes, I AM gonna say it...

I am tired, tired of having to be the grown-up ALL THE TIME,

tired of having to be the ROCK ALL THE TIME (and then being presented by another person as "cold, unfeeling, no compassion, controlling, un-trusting, etc"),

tired of always having to keep on the *happy, positive, things will come together* face/mood/spirit in front of the boys [and of course I'll keep doing that, for the boys sake]

tired of not being able to sleep at night worrying about mortgage payments, health insurance, utility bills, grocery bills, how to keep the boys' protocols going etc etc [while another person passes out for a MINIMUM of 9 hours and needs to have a long nap during the day]

tired of being expected to "play nice and keep a lid on my anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness" for sake of preserving the parenting relationship

tired of having somebody use his particular complex of health challenges (and I don't deny there are health challenges - but they are not nearly as debilitating as presented) as an excuse for 'not doing'

At some point, more ranting will follow over here. Haven't had the energy yet to do so, plus, really, right now it's better for me to NOT dwell in negativity.. I've got a mountain of work that must get done.. before I need to move into dinner crunch time ...

P.S. And then these two quotes came my way over the course of the day:

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round-remembering that the man who fights one more round is never whipped."
James Corbett
"Tough times never last, but tough people do."
Robert H. Schuller

Monday, August 10, 2009


So I had my 4 month "post discovery of lumpy bumpies" check up this morning.

Mixed bag.

Blood pressure up (from my typical "low-normal" range to "high normal"). Well, no sh#t on that one eh? I guess you could say that I am experiencing an eensy teensy weensy bit of stress and that I wouldn't be human if that didn't have some type of effect (and I sure as heck ain't no Zen Buddist..)..

One of the "lumpy bumpy" areas has changed too (with what that change entails 'to be elaborated upon'). So additional appointments have been scheduled for more poking and prodding (oh what fun..).


The good news (yes, there is always a silver lining)???

I lost 5 lbs since the previous check-up. I just didn't have the heart to tell the doc that those pounds most likely dropped off me in the past 3 weeks or so (as opposed to the past 4 months).

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.... Happy.....

Thank you all so very very much. A friend told me yesterday "Ask and you shall receive". Another friend told me today "The Universe gives back what you put into it". A third friend said "What goes around, comes around". I have said these words, I have used these expressions, but never truly believed, as in "soul believed"...

I stand corrected...

I am humbled, I am elated, I will rest easier knowing that I do have a community who's 'got my back'.


I Need Your Help. No, Let Me Rephrase, My Boys Need Your Help..

Well, I didn't think it was ever going to come to this.. but it did.. I need your help.

Not for me, but for my boys.

It feels incredibly weird to do this (you all know how well I do with asking for help), but for the sake of my boys, I will swallow my pride and reach out.

I need to make some decisions regarding what parts of the boys' current treatment protocols I may be able to taper down on a bit (to cut down on $$)- hopefully not forever but at least for the upcoming 6 - 9 months, until I am (well, that's the plan anyway) on the other side of our current predicaments.

I want to be able to make informed decisions on what to taper down on, so I need to get a series of tests run on the boys so I can do that.

Most of you know about Lend4Health. Most of you know that I've 'gone in' myself on pretty much every loan that has hit the site. And now I find myself on the other side. Yes, a loan request is up for my boys.

I am not asking or expecting any of you to contribute.

However, if you could repost this loan request on your Facebook pages, or your blogs, twitter, or in any other way that will allow it to get some 'web time', I would so much appreciate that.

[and if you do decide to pitch in, my everlasting gratitude. Please understand that any contributions would be a loan. I will pay you pack]


I am absolutely speechless on what has been happening - the loan request is already FUNDED. And it's a friggin' Saturday!! I have no words.. no words...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.