Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Good Birthday Party..

So Potatey had a blast, running around in a big indoor playground with a couple of buddies from school and a bunch of neigborhood/town friends. And Salamander was right in there having a blast with him.

I am too pooped to write much about the how, what and when. Suffice to say, I DID manage to get the goodie bag crisis resolved last nite; baked 24 cupcakes (from scratch, allergen free, thank you very much), frosted them and sprinkled them with (all natural) yellow sugar; bought and prepared allergen free hotdogs (you'll be shocked to learn how many dogs contain undeclared dairy, soy or corn..), got a few extra bags of all natural potato chips (potatoes, sunflower oil and salt; nothing more), etc. etc. etc. And ready we were and off to the party place..

Potatey dove right in.. Salamander got a little stuck on getting game tokens first (but the good ole' 'we'll set the clock for 15 minutes and then we'll go ask that nice lady at the counter' did the trick), and then, once more of Potatey's friends showed up, very nicely shifted into the role of big brother/orchestrator of total mayhem (he's come such a looooong loooooong way, and it really showed today.. ).
Me? I got a chance to actually sit on my butt (I had forgotten that you can actually USE that part of your anatomy for sitting on) and talk with fellow 'grown-ups'. Can you believe that this was actually the very first birthday party in many, many, many years where I wasn't operating on DEFCON 1, ready to execute a pre-emptive strike and exit at Mach 3?
It was nice, really, really nice...

Couple of pics to close.. and then I'm gonna hit the sack and pass out. Salamander is turning 10 (!!) tomorrow (OMG, when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll have a 10 year old). (Sucky part is that the poor kid really doesn't have much of a birthday ahead of him.. more MCAS testing..).

The CupCakes - I fed these to all the monkeys in the zoo.. and not one comment that they 'tasted funny'' (a lot of people seem to think that allergen free foods taste like crap.. ).

My two at the party (yes, what looks like Chewbaka in the corner is actually me.. I soooo need a haircut..)

Oh, and yesterday there was an invation of the Persians.. (Salamander has been reading about the Spartans and King Leonidas - all those boxes that gets shipped into this place on a weekly basis came in very handy..LOL )

Linking Back...

I had another opportunity this AM to read through something I had linked to on Friday. And I am going to link to it again as the message is too important to get buried ....

The blog entry that I am refering to is loooooong, but so incredibly worth the read... I don't think many of us that live through what we live through on a daily basis have many illusions left when it comes to whether or not all treatments pushed by mainstream medicine (read: pharmaceutical industry with a HUGE marketing budget) actually deliver what they promise.

But for those of you that haven't lived throught the nighmare of what happens when your loved one responds adversely to a medical intervention that has been promoted for many years as the Gospel Truth, please, please, please read this.

Yes, absolutely, to err is human. And no test protocols or studies can account for every single possible permutation of susceptibilities. But to keep denying, when reports of adverse events are mounting, that there is a problem that needs further investigation, now that is UTTER STUPIDITY AND ARROGANCE (and as the tobacco industry can testify to, the truth eventually will come out and bite you in the A$$....)

Saturday, March 29, 2008


OK, so for ME, getting a good nite of sleep is a BAD thing, as I seem to have completely lost my brain.

In all the running around I did today, guess what I completely and utterly forgot?
Yup.. the goodie bags for Potatey's party tomorrow..

Watch a mad scramble ensue...

Help Restore..

a girl's already severely tarnished faith in the adult male species...

Please, please, please tell me that what I am going to describe is not just part of the adult package, but very much associated with one particular member of the adult male species.

I left my house for about 3 hours to go to the Whole Foods Market to do my 'every 3 week replenish food supplies for the boyos' run. While my house wasn't spotless, it wasn't trashed either. And all the 'adult' had to do while I was gone was feed the boyos their lunch (most of the prepping had already been done by yours truly).

I walk back into the house and my kitchen is TRASHED. Guess somebody forgot to inform the 'adult in charge' that cleaning up IS part of the 'feeding job'. And what really irks me is that I know that the boyos, of the time that I was gone, spent at least an hour in front of the TV, so it's not that they kept the 'adult' so busy that clean up couldn't be done......

Sjeesh Louise......

Off to decontaminate my kitchen.. :(

Sleep, Glorious Sleep!!

This past nite was the first nite that Potatey has slept all the way through (without waking up due to night terrors) in a, oh I can't remember how, looooong time. And there were also no other 'thump in the night' incidents that woke me up from my slumber..

So when Potatey walked into my room this morning at 6.45 am, I truly thought the tyke had slept in for a change, as it felt like close to 8 am to me!!!! Imagine my surprise when I passed on of the clocks in my house and realized what time it was. I feel sooo rested!!!!
I am sure this means that both boys will be giving me a run for the money today... LOL..

It's going to be a busy one out here. Potatey's birthday party is tomorrow afternoon (and I have food shopping and baking to do for that), Salamanders birthday is on Monday (and I have to finish up present shopping and wrapping). Then there is the looming tax deadline.. Oh, and I think that, despite more MCAS testing on Monday and Tuesday of next week, Salamander has homework that needs to be completed over the weekend.

And then there is this other 'issue' that came to a nasty stand-off this past Thursday (can't get into details) that I'll be working on finding a resolution for..... Can I just say that sometimes having a bright, extremely sweet kiddo on the high functioning side with little to no behavioral issues in the school setting can be a BAD thing (from the perspective of securing services from school)?? [no, I'm not talking about my own..]

Friday, March 28, 2008

Another Must Read!!!

Make sure you have time to sit down and really read this one. It's so worth your time.

And once you read through the blog post itself, make sure you read the comments too....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Mitochondrial dysfunction in regressive autism

Just wanted to post these 'ARTICLE MAJOR POINTS' from David Kirby's Huffington Post entry. While I don't think that 'it is as simple as the genetic susceptibility for mitochondrial dysfunction in autism is inherited through the father, not the mother' (I believe that BOTH parents contribute to the genetic susceptibility), a lot of what is listed is a very close match to the things Dr. Amy Yasko has been looking into (and actively addressing with her protocol) for years!!!


• Up to 1 in 50 children (2%) may have a genetic mutation that puts them at risk for mitochondrial dysfunction.

• Up to 20% of all children with autism may have an underlying mitochondrial dysfunction

• Children with mitochondrial dysfunction are more likely to regress into autism between the ages 1 and 2 years, if they have fever or illness from viral infections or vaccines.

• The CDC is aware of this difficult situation and is taking measures immediately to address the current national vaccine schedule.

• The genetic susceptibility for mitochondrial dysfunction in autism is inherited through the father, not the mother, as previously thought, and is not rare at all.

• The DNA mutation might not be enough in itself to confer cellular dysfunction, and many doctors believe there is an environmental trigger as well.

• They note that thimerosal, mercury, aluminum, pollution, pesticides, medicines and prenatal alcohol exposure have all been shown to damage mitochondria.

• Other doctors believe that a corn-byproduct based diet in America has put children in a constant inflammatory state, thus making the DNA mutation more pathogenic.

• While some children with mitochondrial dysfunction regress into autism following fever and illness from a viral infection; other kids, like Hannah Poling, clearly regress following a reaction to vaccines.

• The exact percentage of people with vaccine induced autism is unknown. But even a 1% rate could mean 10,000 Americans with vaccine related autism, at a cost of many billions of dollars for lifetime care.

• Some changes in the vaccine schedule will almost surely be made. The most difficult decision is how and when to vaccinate children with proven mitochondrial dysfunction.

• This hot topic will be the subject of a daylong meeting of the HHS National Vaccine Advisory Committee's Vaccine Safety Working Group, in Washington, DC on April 11.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little 'vindicated' by all of this..


Please, please, please, read this blog post by David Kirby!!!!

I am in too much of a hurry to get to a meeting to comment in detail, but what David touches on is exactly, exactly, exactly what has happened to Salamander (and it would have happened to Potatey too if not for a much more aware and pro-active momma).

Both my kids have genetically determined dysfunctions in a variety of metabolic and mitochondrial cycles. And in Salamander's case, a combination of environmental, toxic and viral insults aggrevated his underlying metabolic/mitochondrial disorder and the rest is history as we say...

I'll comment more when I have more time. I am however THRILLED to see more emphasis placed on the fact that so many of our kids are metabolic trainwrecks and have clear signs of metabolic/mitochondrial dysfunction (and less emphasis on autism is mercury poisoning as a result of vaccines.. while this may be true for some kids, on a grander scale this 'link' just never made sense to me).

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Another Super Mom!!!!

Check out what a dear friend of mine had to say about the cost of raising not one, not two, but three children with autism.

Kim, you ROCK!!!

(and oh, did I recognize the ease with which you slipped into the girls' sensory protocols ...)

One MCAS assessment down..

three more to go..

Salamander got through ELA - Long Comp in one piece today.

He is utterly exhausted though. And it's interesting, from a purely analytical and clinical perspective, how fatigue is impacting certain 'behaviors'. The 'getting stuck on a certain word in a sentence and not being able to get beyond that word' is very pronounced tonight, as is the agitated pacing. Auditory processing is virtually nil as well...

But nothing a good night of sleep won't be able to fix (I hope).

(now a eensy, teensy vent.. as overall Salamander's school has been an incredible partner in any and all interventions, accommodations and modifications implemented over the years.. Why or why assign a lengthy homework assignment that requires MORE READING AND WRITING after the kids spent pretty much the entire day on an intense writing assigment???)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Cow Doodoo Too...

You all see this? Am sure you did...

With one child, I never drank a drop from the moment I knew I was pregnant until he was about 4 months old and I was no longer nursing. With another child, I had my glass of wine once or twice a week all throughout the last 7 or 8 weeks of my pregnancy.

Now guess which child is the one with the autism spectrum disorder?

As Potatey would say, this 'research' is Cow Poopie...

Holy 'Effin' Bloody Cow Doodoo...

Well, at least now I have confirmation on paper as to why Potatey has been a beastie as of late..
Poor kiddo is pushing out all kinds of nasties (aluminum, antimony, arsenic, bismuth, cadmium, lead, mercury (A LOT!!), nickel, thallium, tin and tungsten - No, I am NOT reciting the Periodic Table of Elements...LOL), all while at an elevated creatinine (so we have some clearing of viral debris in the mixture too).

Potatey sweetpea, momma knows you feel like sh#t. And I'll continue to be really patient with you and your antics as I know where the antics are coming from...

Hang in there, cutie, hang in there...

Couldn't have said it better myself...

Just stumbled across this entry on Wade Rankin's blog (Injecting Sense).

I'm gonna let Jenny do the talkin...

The Dreaded MCAS..

is this week. ELA - Long comp is tomorrow....

I know, I know.. Salamander is only in 4th grade. It really doesn't mean anything at this point.. Problem is all the drilling over the past, oh, 6 or so weeks and the posters all over school ('We're going to beat the test!' reads on of them) are NOT helping reinforce the message that this is only an assessment, not a life or death situation.

MCAS under any circumstance is stress inducing. Now add to that circumstance an anxiety prone, extreme perfectionist with Asperger's Syndrome, and a bunch of LDs (on of them being dysgraphia, aka the inability to write by hand)...

Oh yes, the 'fun' that we'll have out here this week. It started this morning.. I won't repeat the first words out of Salamander's mouth after he woke up ...

So please, send some good positive thoughts his way this week? (and maybe a virtual Margarita for his mom???? LOL)

Ah well, this too shall pass..

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Oh, and my thanks..

to all who tossed me a lifeline after reading my 'Help, I'm having an incredible shrinking woman attack'..

I don't know what I'd do without all of you...

And to those out there that think they know so much better what I should be doing, and how I should be doing it, and why how I'm doing it is all wrong, listen up:

Now I'm not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes

(Walking in my shoes; Depeche Mode)


So I spent the past 50 minutes (!!) making chocolate frosting from scratch using nothing but cane sugar, tapioca starch, cocoa, Spectrum organic shortening and hazelnut milk (I am making some holiday treats for my guys).

Yup, gone are the days that all I had to do was drive to the store and pull a can of frosting of the shelf...

But you know what? The home made variety is much, much yummier.. (and I made enough to last me through Potatey's birthday party and Salamander's birthday and party...).

Happy Easter!!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Potatey Party...

Potatey's response to one of his birthday cards...

Oh yes, there is a LOT of me in that kiddo...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Why is it...

that certain people, just by showing up, can make me feel like I'm about an inch tall?

Is it the 'humanus superiorus' body language?
(my apologies for butchering Latin.. I'll look this up when I'm not so pissed off)

Is it the disdainful look, upon me, upon the house and everything in it and around it ?
(as in 'I can't -believe- you make the boys live this way')

Is it the saccharine yet pitying tone of voice used to address the boys, as in 'Everything is going to be OK, I am here and I'll do the thinking for you now' ?
(while I KNOW that by mid morning tomorrow, after having been on the receiving end of the boys' boundless energy for a couple of hours, that same tone of voice will have changed to 'It's my way or the highway, d@mn it!')

I DETEST any and all of the above (I'm trying my darnest to keep the attitudes and behaviors separate from the person.... and failing miserably at it)! It puts my teeth on edge and raises my hackles (and I have a LOT of hackle to be raised..).

But truth be told, I HATE myself even more for allowing the attitudes and behaviors of another person to make me feel this small and insignificant.

Yes, yes, I know.. spring equinox yesterday, full moon tonite, hormonal undercurrents and eating too much gluten this afternoon all contribute to my rather 'fragile state'.

But d@mn it, the boys and I had a GOOD run this week. Professionally this week has been extremely successful for me, Salamander has been doing really well these past several weeks and school gave wonderful feedback on Salamander's progress at his IEP progress review meeting, Potatey turned 5 this week and had a ball at his various birthday celebrations, and today the boys and I had a really good time together.

So why do I feel like an utter and complete failure????

Quoting Scripture...

So Salamander has been scripting a lot today. He used to do this whenever he felt anxious, out of control, or otherwise 'out of sorts'. He has learned other coping mechanisms over the years, but every once and while it comes back.

So we are talking about his upcoming birthday, what presents he would like, and one of his 'heart's desires' may be a toy that's on the 'contains lead or other nasty chemicals, aka not a safe toy' list. I explained to him that I needed to check whether it was a safe toy first before I could make any decisions.

And out comes the following (apparently Salamander was aware of the recent toy recalls as one of his class mates did a piece on this as part of the classroom's 'daily news' feature) in this deep, dark, TV announcers voice (with perfect intonation, perfect pitch, the whole bit...)

"Don't be fooled by the stylish appearance of this [ ... ] doll.
She is actually a cold blooded killer."

(apparently this is the text of an actual advertisement one of his classmates quoted in the aforementioned 'daily news' feature.. ).

I couldn't help but laugh.. Yes, Salamander was definitely scripting, but in light of the conversation, it was actually appropriate scripting!!

Of course we talked about what the text of the advertisement actually meant, in what context it must have been made, and why it is NOT a good idea to 'quote this particular scripture' outside of our own four walls...

Starbucks Wisdom..

on my Caramel Macchiato cup ...

Wild animals often do a much better job of caring for their offspring than we civilized and educated humans do.

(partial quote; Lee Grogg, The Way I see it # 265... emphasis in italics added by me)

No sh#t eh? Just listen to the stories on TV, or read the stories in the newspapers describing the most horrific abuse that "civilized and educated humans" will perpetrate on their offspring. With the majority of the perpetrators showing absolutely no remorse...

And along those lines.. what is up with all these people commenting to me under their breath, as I am herding my kiddos through the store today, 'Don't you love those days that the kids are home from school?'

As a matter of fact, I DO love those days (now they are certainly not always 'event free')... I like being with my kids, and I pride myself on that feeling being mutual (which doesn't mean we don't drive each other crazy at times).

I've said it before and I am going to say it again. If you can't deal with a 24/7 commitment to your kids for many many years to come, then don't have them. Period. It IS a choice...


Check in on this family from time to time? They are going through so much....

They don't know me and I don't know them, but we share a common bond; an enormous love for our kids and an indestructible 'we'll do whatever it takes to help them be the best they can be' attitude.

I read a little about this family's trials and tribulations last nite.. And while things certainly aren't easy out here, our struggles absolutely pale in comparison...

Happy Easter

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Happy BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

My Potatey turns FIVE (!!) today.. can't believe how fast those past 5 years went.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy...

(I have so much more to say about this awesome kiddo... but it'll have to hold, momma's gotta get to work... )

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bumpy Ride..

this weekend (the good ole' roller coaster strikes again..)

Don't have time right now to get into all the details.. I got to get myself to a client site...

But I want to leave those of you that actually read this stuff with a question:

How to explain that being a parent is not the same thing as cycling between

Big goofy playmate with whom anything goes,

and Drill Sergeant with a really nasty explosive temper?

Key elements, in my mind, boil down to being able to make unpopular decisions and to use any and all opportunities to teach...

Thoughts, input, suggestions welcomed.. both on and off the blog...

Saturday, March 15, 2008

A Quote ...

from today's Schafer Report...

"The entire federal budget for autism research, about $108 million, is spent
every four hours in Iraq."

I can't really decide how this makes me feel.. profoundly sad or profoundly PISSED OFF!!

Friday, March 14, 2008


OK, THAT teaches me to make any, cautiously optimistic, predictions about the future...

My dishwasher just did a darn good attempt at spontaneous self combustion!!!!

We're fine, no worries. Same cannot be said, I'm afraid, of the dishwasher.

(I swear, I am NOT making all this stuff up...)

Crazy A$$ Week...

As I predicted earlier this week, this has been one crazy week (in a good way..), and the week ain't over yet!!!!

It's been a really long time that I am going into a weekend feeling somewhat in control (famous last words.. wanna bet that in an hour or so it all goes to H E L L in a hand basket???).

A quick summary of good things, in completely random order:

1. Days getting longer and warmer. Spring is on the horizon (TG!!!)

2. The sunroof in my car, and Bruce Springsteen as loud as I can possibly stand it on my CD player.

3. An ever growing circle of friends in all shapes, sorts, sizes and bends (ah, the spice of life) whom I can rely on for pretty much anything at anytime. THANK YOU!!!!!

4. Skype video conferencing software!!! OMG, this is so much fun!!! I got it for business reasons, but 'test drove' the whole thing this afternoon with a few friends across 'the pond' (also known as the Atlantic Ocean). I am still enough of a girl to not be too pleased with how I looked on video, but I'll have to get over that..

5. Watching my boys grow up and mature and realizing that they will be awesome men one day.

6. Salamander getting invited for TWO play dates this afternoon and actually having to make a choice as to where he could go.

7, Seeing the progress Salamander has made over the past 3 - 4 months reflected in his report card and in his IEP progress report.

8. Starting gigs with two new clients involving some really cool technologies (and I LOVE the people I work this, so that's another big plus).

9. Despite all that has happened in the past 15 months (and I am sure much more will happen in the next 15), I continue to keep an open mind, and I am trying my darnest to keep my heart open as well (note to those that have stepped on my heart one too many times.. sorry, but you're SOL.. )

10. Being strong in body, mind and spirit. I could have so easily just 'given up'. I don't know why I didn't. Pigheaded stubbornness and the aforementioned circle of friends has a lot to do with it, I think.

11. Having grown and grown up a lot in the past 15 months. There were quite a few people in my life who were way too found of telling me what I should be wanting out of my life. Needless to say, these people have now been relegated to a much much smaller role (and I think all parties are happier for it). 'Cause you know what? It doesn't matter what other people think I should be wanting. What matters is what -I- want (with the understanding that my boys' needs and wants will always, always, always, always come FIRST. And to those of you who think that's the wrong approach to take? Guess what, this is MY life and it works for my boys and me).

12. Watching a group of people, who are in a variety of tough spots themselves, rally and pretty much give the shirts of their backs to support a family in need. BECAUSE WE CARE. And it's as simple as that.

13. Having 'kissed' my very high credit card debt 'Goodbye' as of today!!!!! (this took some effort and an enormous amount of creativity, but it's DONE. Now let's hope that I won't have to go into debt like that EVER AGAIN).

14. Feeling at peace and knowing that whatever life throws my way again, I'll handle it.

I could go on like this for a while (and I may be adding to this at a later time), but I am going outside for a bit to 'just play'.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Courtesy of Potatey.....(he's been cranking out art works of increasing complexity. I have to 'downsize' the bigger pieces he's made so I can scan those as well).


Oh, and while you're at it, won't you check out this fundraising page of the daughter of a friend of mine?

The young lady has committed to running a half marathon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society - a group near and dear to my heart as a close family member battled (and won!!) a rare and very aggressive B-cell lymphoma last year.. partially due to the excellent information this organization provides and partially due to the cutting edge research they support. TIA!!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Linking back...

As it's going to be one crazy a$$ busy week out here, and I won't have much time to post, I am going to link back to a previous post of mine about my friend Kim.

Lots of help has been coming in for the girls, my sincere thanks to all of you who have contributed.

Please keep it coming, these beautiful girls' daddy is working hard on finding another job, but anybody who's been in his particular situation knows that things don't happen overnight..

I HAD to add to this post:
Last Thursday on my way home from having started a new contracting gig, I passed a sign with the following text on it. I didn't know at that time that information for another new gig was sitting in my email box, and that a nice big fat check (as in, MONEY) for something I had completely forgotten about (can't get into the details.. ) was on its way in the mail to me. The text itself had kind of disappeared in the swamp of 'overloaded mommy brain', but as I watched my two tired boys sleeping soundly last night, it came back to me:

It does not matter WHO you love
It does not matter HOW you love
What matters is THAT you love

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Wanted to add one more diagram...

The diagram emphasizes the variety of disorders that can result from defects in mitochondrial metabolism. See the word 'atypical' and 'unexplained' in a couple of places? That's exactly what put me originally on the meta/mito track...

Friday, March 07, 2008

Something to ponder..

Since all the brouhaha around that recent vaccine court concession started (yup, the one where vaccines appeared to have aggravated an underlying mitochondrial disorder), I've had quite a few questions from friends regarding the boys' metabolic disorder (of which mitochondrial disorder is a sub-piece) and whether or not I attribute the manifestation of this disorder to vaccines.

I really have to think hard about this.. as I can truly argue either way...

But in the mean time I wanted to leave you with two very interesting tables from a publication titled "Mitochondrial and Metabolic Disorders - A Primary Care Physician's Guide; Reprinted from a special supplement to Exceptional Parent Magazine" . I hope the tables transmit OK (the tables can also be found in this chapter.. look at pages 3 and 5; the whole chapter is a fascinating read, and I am sure many parents of kids with "autism" will recognize a lot of the symptoms...).


(since my previous post, two more FEDEX trucks have stopped at the house.. I really should have videotaped the whole 'comin & goin'.. It was priceless.. I actually saw my neighbors for the first time in MONTHS.. they were all on their front porches looking, staring, pointing and wondering what the blazes was going on here...)

Things are really coming together for me on the business front. This has been one heck of a week in terms of getting new clients signed on, and I am well on my way towards my goal.

Can't get into the specifics (I may jinx myself), but suffice to say that my 'am I going to be able to keep the business afloat, or am I going to have to take another 8 am - 6 pm, chained to a desk, job' worries have now officially ended (until the end of this calendar year, that is..).

[sound of champagne cork popping in the background]
Oh, and Salamander just spontaneously went on a playdate with the kiddos that frequently visit the house that adjoins my backyard (their grandparents live in that house); and for the FIRST time, the grandparents were cool with Salamander coming over without me in tow to facilitate and redirect things
OMG.. another FEDEX truck just pulled up (makes you wonder about their logistics department, doesn't it?)


You KNOW that you have a lot going on at your house if...

The fedex girl, the DHL guy and the UPS guy all meet up in front of your house at the same time at least once a week (either to deliver medical supplies or to pick of medical test samples), great each other on a first name basis and decide to have their little coffee break on your front steps.

(I kid you not, that's what just happened here).


Salamander and I have been working very hard over the past three weeks on teaching him a very important self care skill. And I am thrilled to report that last night things went exactly the way they are supposed to!!!!!

I am so proud of my big guy!!!!!!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Say Hello...

to my little friend....

Couldn't resist... Nope, no explanation forthcoming beyond this
'Don't mess with me when it come to my kids!!!'

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Speaking of...

that vaccine court case?

11:30 AM
A couple from Atlanta, Georgia will join with their 9-year-old daughter in a press conference discussing their daughter's development of autism from vaccines.
This landmark court case alleged that autism was caused by childhood vaccines and was scheduled to be heard as a test case before the concession was made.
The Centers for Disease Control have estimated that 1 in 150 children have autism, and many have linked the autism epidemic in this country to the mercury based preservative used in childhood vaccines.
Members of the media may contact Todd Scott at 212-564-4692 or 516-312-6573 for information.

Very Interesting..

We're all aware (I assume?) of the recent vaccine court concession and Senator McCain’s remarks on Autism and vaccines??

David Kirby had an interesting chat with Don Imus yesterday morning.

One particular blip caught my eye:

"DK: I believe there are several things in our environment that can trigger several different types of conditions and predisposition's that ultimately manifest in symptoms we diagnose as autism. Whether it truly is classic autism or not, if it's your kid, you don't really care.

IMS: What are they?

DK: It may be genetics, (or) because of mitochondrial health, in other words, cellular energy, (or) because of a pre-existing autoimmune condition, or an allergic condition. Given any set of those conditions, and then getting any set of triggers -- mercury in vaccines, the number and type of vaccines we're giving now, pollution in the air, pesticides, flame retardants or even just viruses, perhaps. But if a kid is set up for regression... whatever gets there first, I'm talking hypothetically, but, whatever gets there first may set off the regression."

BINGO!! Whatever gets there first may set off the regression in a kid that is set up for regression [due to genetic susceptibilities]. Once again, "one size fits all" is a very dangerous path to take..

Testy Momma....


A bunch of things happened that put me in an 'Up Yours!!' kinda mood, and almost every single thing that happened comes down to the MYTH that kids with autism cannot get better and that if they do, well, then they never really had autism in the first place.

Well, trust me, Salamander's original "Asperger's with a lot of twists" diagnosis was 'spot on'. And the fact that his presentation fits this diagnosis less and less has nothing to do with the fact that the original diagnosis was wrong. It has everything to do with the fact that, slowly but surely, the HUGE biomed program we have in place is allowing him to HEAL physically and feel so much better, so he can actually make efficient use of all those other interventions (educational interventions, remedial therapies, assistive technology, etc., etc., etc.,) to learn all those 'NT' skills!!!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Out to Lunch today..

In more ways than one... LOL

Got myself in, and out, of a crazy situation yesterday morning.. Stay tuned....

Monday, March 03, 2008

Won't you please help out..

a good friend? Once again she finds herself in a really tough spot...

You can read her story here..

Thank you

Edited on March 5, 2008: Thanks to all who are helping out. Keep it comin, keep it comin..

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Tired Ramblings...

God, I'm tired... All is quiet in my house now, for the time being anyway.

Salamander was very anxious and agitated around some situations that took place at school last week, and he's quite worried that this week will be more of the same (not if this Momma Bear can help it.. I can't get into the details just yet, so stay tuned..). Add to that some excitement/anxiety around the first After School Math/Science session tomorrow, and MCAS testing looming on the horizon (with the associated crazy push at schools to get the kids test ready..tough situation for an NT kid to be in, and then add a few spectrum twists and LD turns to it.. well, you get where I'm going with this). We spend some time talking about and re-enforcing coping strategies, and I think that DID help Salamander feel a little less anxious and out of control (he always does better with difficult situations if he has a plan A and a plan B).
Needless to say that it took Salamander a while to settle down, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's 'up' a few times tonight....

I fully expect Potatey to be up a few times too... Poor baby continues to push out metals at pretty intense levels. He hasn't been sleeping so good as of late, and he's tired... I really hope that he can get a full, uninterrupted night of sleep.. More for his sake than mine.

Potatey actually has his Kindergarten screening tomorrow at the school he'll start attending come fall of this year. I have no concerns about him developmentally what-so-ever, so I don't think the screening itself will be too big of a deal. Potatey is understandably a bit anxious, and, while excited about the prospect of going to 'the big boy school', not completely ready yet to leave his current school behind (where he's been since he was 4 MONTHS old). We have plenty of time to work through that transition though, and I am pretty sure it'll be 'smooth sailing' especially once he realizes that he'll be spending more time DURING the week with some of his little buddies from our street (as opposed to just seeing them here and there on the weekend).

I really should be using this time to get ready for my crazy week ahead. Especially tomorrow has an already absolutely looney schedule, Which includes the aforementioned Kindergarten screening here in town, then I have to get Potatey to his current school in the next town over, then I have to meet with my financial advisor/insurance broker four towns away to initiate loans against some of my current policies to address my very high interest rate debt, then back here to hopefully get a couple of hours of PAYING work in and to do my February billing, and then it'll be time to get Salamander from his math program, then off to the next town over to get Potatey from school.. and poof, the day will be gone...

But I've had a couple of thoughts rattling around in my skull all day, and I know that I won't find any peace of mind until I let these thoughts 'out', so hence me pecking away at my key board....

Last night I had the pleasure of spending time with new found friends here in town (they have two lovely little girls that match my two wild guys in age, and the kiddos have all been getting along wonderfully); funny really, they live not even 10 minutes from my house and have lived in their current location for at least 3 years. But it took a dear friend of mine (you know who you are) who lives 30 minutes or so away, to get us in touch with other after meeting them at an event on the other side of the state!!!

Anyhow, I'm helping them out with a few things around especially their youngest daughter (who has PDD-NOS), so we needed to get together (preferably sans kids) to go over a few things. I met them at their house (I had supervision here at home for my two), and we had a wonderful time (and yes, my horoscope ended up being accurate after all.. albeit a few days late.. LOL.. I definitely felt the 'overindulgence' today.. oh my...).

Inevitably when talking with fellow special needs parents, the topic of marriage, relationships and all that comes up. They were somewhat aware of my current situation, and I elaborated a bit last night. And my new friends expressed how truly sorry they were for ME. Not that they were SORRY for me, no, they were sorry for ME. And it took me a little to pick up on the distinction, and even longer to be able to articulate how I felt about the whole situation.

Am I sad for what once was and has been lost? Yes.

Am I rip roaring mad, pissed off, etc at times, especially when it is crystal clear that the bulk, if not all, of the work involving in raising and taking care of these two wonderful boys rests squarely on my shoulders? HELL, yes.

Do I worry about how the situation is affecting the boys? Absolutely.

Am I sorry for myself? Do I worry about being 'left all on my own' once the boys are old enough to spread their wings and lead their own lives? HELL no.

Because, as crazy as this may sound, this whole roller coaster ride from hell has taught me that -I- don't need to be part of a larger entity (the entity 'couple' in its most restricted sense; you can't tell where one person begins and the other one ends, i.e., no individuality) to define myself, to be able to play the game of life, to be able to do what needs doing for the boys, to be able to 'move on' after the boys are all grown up and don't need their momma quite as much.

I will be OK. I truly believe that, in every fiber of my being. I DO however need to work on my resentment/anger/trust issues, as those emotions are counter productive and drain me from precious energy that I simply cannot afford to waste.

It's not easy, it's not easy. I have been left so many times over the years to deal with really difficult situations on my own, not just once or twice, but time and time again. Sure, now that Salamander is starting to do so well, being with Salamander, doing things with him, taking care of him is becoming a bit easier. And now the other party wants 'back in' and is happy to, at a minimum, take co-credit for how well Salamander is doing.

And truth be told, IT PISSES ME OFF!! Sure, now that things are moving along in the right direction, now that things are a little easier, it's kinda neat to be able to say 'Look at my son. Look at what he's accomplished.Look at how well he's doing.'
But where the HELL was the other party during the really tough years??? And where will this other party be/go when the going gets rough again (as it inevitably will)???

Let it be understood that the other party is at heart a decent, caring person. With SERIOUS issues however when it comes to being able to cope with challenging highly emotionally charged situations (and no, denial and avoidance are NOT acceptable coping mechanisms). And to give credit where credit is due, the other party is finally starting to realize this and is working on things. I just hope he can stick with it, so he can truly be a daddy for the boys; sooner rather than later (and I have my doubts, I really do; the other party has a LOT of growing up to do...).

I get a sense though that the other party's prime motivation for working on things is not so much the desire to have a solid relationship with the boys, but an attempt to convince ME to be 'a couple' again (and once again, that would fit within the pattern..)

And that is just not going to happen. Too much has happened, my trust has been violated too many times, I've been hurt too many times. Also, I am not the person I was 15 years ago. I've changed a lot (whether for better or for worse.. that's a debate for another time); my approach to life, my priorities, my definition of 'what matters' is radically different from what it was 15 years ago. And the other party either cannot, or refuses, to see and accept that....

Which in the end is truly not MY problem, but the other party's problem. For years I've tried to mold myself to the other party's perceptions of who I was or who I should be. I can no longer do that, I no longer WANT to do that. I am actually quite happy with who I've become.

(but that doesn't mean I don't get Goddang tired every once and a while of going it alone, and that a strong shoulder to cry on, a strong arm to pull me out of the Pitt wouldn't be nice. But heck, that's what friends are for, right? And I have those aplenty....)

Invasion from Mars....

My 'home turf' has been invaded by a bunch of junior members of the Martian tribe (as in Men are from Mars, etc ...).
My house is getting utterly trashed and the noise is DEAFENING!!!!!

And I am listening to it all with an enormous, goofy grin (a la Cheshire Cat..LOL) on my face......

(now why is it that my house is a regular magnet for any and all junior Martians in a 2 mile radius, but that I just cannot seem to figure out what makes the adult variety tick????)

Going to have to take a break

from the Age of Autism blog for a bit....

While I adore the people 'behind the scenes' and believe that AoA was conceived with the best of intentions (and man, there are some really GOOD writers posting on that blog), over the past couple of weeks the general tone has turned more and more toward "the government purposely "F"-ed up our kids, continues to do so, but our day will come that we can burn the a$$holes at the stake" zealotry, and anti-vaccine tabloid style rhetoric (and this is obviously entirely MY perception; but after checking in with a few fellow 'autism warriors' they acknowledged having similar feelings..).

Which is really too bad, as in my opinion, going the 'angry screaming mob' route is taking away from the messages that needs to be communicated to the mainstream media, and the public at large, which are:

"Point one: A lot of our kids are ill, very ill. And the illness they suffer from is a multi factorial biochemistry disorder that presents itself as a complex and confusing array of neuropsychiatric/behavioral SYMPTOMS called 'autism'. And while 'autism' may not be curable (a lot of biochemistry disorders are not curable), the underlying biochemistry disorder sure is treatable. And lo and behold, once you start treating the underlying biochemistry problems, the neuropsychatiric/behavioral symptoms lessen or disappear.

Point two: There is a marked increase in the amount of kids being ill. Why is that happening? Genetic epidemics don't happen. So there must be other factors in play. And we MUST determine what those factors are, sooner rather than later.

Point three: The current vaccination schedule is NOT a one size fits all. Too many parents report of too many problems in too many kids. We MUST understand which subset of kids may be susceptible to adverse events, we MUST understand what these adverse events are, and then we MUST make serious efforts developing vaccines that are safe for that susceptible population as well. And parents MUST be allowed the freedom to modify the vaccination schedule as best suits their particular child's needs."

OK, getting off my soap box now. The sun is shining and I am in need of some serious stimulation of my dopamine receptors... LOL

Peace out

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Your kid taking too much of your time and energy?

Now there's Obay....

Now let this be understood. I am not making fun of the fact that there are kids out there with serious medical and mental problems who DO need medication to get through life, nor am I blind to the fact that there are kids out there who need help and are not getting the help they need.
But medicating kids HAS become a quick fix for issues that easily could be addressed otherwise.. through diet, through supplements and yes, through some plain ole' 'getting mom and dad's full and undivided TIME, ATTENTION and LOVE'.
Raising kids is a full time commitment for, oh at least, 18 years, frequently longer. And it's not easy. But remember, YOU made the decision to have kids, THEY didn't ask to be put on this planet. And if you can't commit to giving your kids your all, then don't have them. Period.